Talk:Burr Caswell/GA1

Latest comment: 3 years ago by The Rambling Man in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 14:17, 24 March 2021 (UTC)Reply

Comments

  • The first two sentences seem to say the same thing.


  • "Caswell was born in..." this para is clunky, four or five very short paras, suggest a bit of a merge to improve the flow.


  • "a couple of years" not particularly encyclopedic tone.


  • "some 30 miles" convert.


  • "year's worth of provisions for their journey to Michigan" for us non-US readers, is there some way of expressing how long this journey was?


  • Link schooner.


  • "they got to" ->"they arrived at the"


  • "built a small ... It was built" repetitive.


  • "very near its" -> "very close to its"


  • "Mason County officially became a county" link "county" and what was it before it became an "official" county?!


  • link for shingles?


  • "which sprang up" tone.


  • "a shingle mill in Ludington" link shingle mill first time.


  • "from January 9, 1874 to" comma after 1874.


  • "large hotel, The family returned" full stop, not comma.


  • "where Caswell ten years" died?


  • "... Ludington beside his first wife" this para has no references.


  • Mary Caswell image is too small.


  • "Edgar achieved fame as a prominent" -> "Edgar became a prominent"


  • "temporary jail.[24][16][23] The" ref order.


  • "Registered State Historic Site" no link?


  • Maybe too many images of the house, the first and third include the same bookcase for example.


  • Consistent ISBN formats.

That's all I have, so it's on hold. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 07:43, 29 March 2021 (UTC)Reply