Talk:Bruce Kison/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 07:36, 7 April 2020 (UTC)

Taking this review as part of the GAN Backlog Drive of April to May 2020. MWright96 (talk) 07:36, 7 April 2020 (UTC)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

General

• Hyphens should be replaced by en dashes (–) per MOS:DASH

Lead

• The second paragraph might be better off divided into two to make it more comfortable to read
• "Bothered by a sore shoulder the next couple of years, " - how many years exactly?
• Wikilink free agent and bullpen for those unfamiliar with sports terms
• Remove the wikilink of the second mention of ERA since the term is already link in the lead
• "but struggled with injuries his first couple of seasons" - in his first
• Spell out ALCS on the first time it is mentioned
• Wikilink scout to Scout (sport)

Early life

• "before getting selected by the Pittsburgh Pirates in the 14th round of the 1968 Major League Baseball Draft." - the word "Draft" does not need to start with a capital letter

Pittsburgh Pirates (1971-79)

• "That strong start netted him" - earned him
• "That strong start netted him a call-up to the big leagues for the first time in July," - try not to use the term "big leagues" where possible
• "then picked up the win as the Pirates won 9–5," - repetition of the word "won"
• "clinching a trip to the World Series." - earning a spot in
• "Sent to Charleston to prove himself" - It would help to know what exactly he was proving himself for
• "Used as a starter again in September, he won a couple more games," - how many more games exactly?
• "After posting an ERA near 6.00 in his first five starts," - ERA close to 6.00
• "the start would be one of the best of his career.[25][2]" - refs in numerical order please
• "He joined the Pirates' rotation May 23" - Pirates' rotation on May 23
• "His most important start of the season came in the Pirates' last game of the year, a game against the Cubs" - repetition of the word "game"
• Wikilink free agent

California Angels (1980-84) and Boston Red Sox (1985)

• "Kison complained of paralysis in his hand and a lack of feeling in three of his dingers after undergoing surgery on his ulnar nerve." - you mean fingers?
• "Kison was the Opening Day starter for the Angels, the first time in his 13 seasons he got a chance to start on Opening Day." - repetition of the phrase "Opening Day"
• "Though his career was in jeopardy of being over," - ending
• "after giving up 6 runs in three starts in a row." - relinquishing six runs
• Wikilink torn rotator cuff to Rotator cuff tear

Coaching

• "He later spent time as the Kansas City Royals' bullpen coach (1992–93), the Royals' pitching coach (1994–98)[51][52][53] and the" -a comma is missing before the stacking of the references
• Wikilink scout to Scout (sport)
• "for over ten years, retiring after the 2017 season." - more than

Pitching Style

• The second word in the header of this sub-section doesn't need to begin with a capital letter
• "he actually had more walks (92) than strikeouts (89). " - the word "actually" is not needed here
• "and he finished his career with over a hundred more innings pitched" - more than

Postseason Appearances & Highlights

• Both the postseason appearances and highlights sections are unreferenced and unnecessary IMO
  • Those were already there when I started working on the article. Happy to remove them. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 13:59, 7 April 2020 (UTC)

Personal life

• Maybe briefly state what Rich Gossage's position was
  • Added explanation earlier on, where Gossage is mentioned in the career section. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 14:02, 7 April 2020 (UTC)

Death

• The one sentence in this section would be better off placed in the Personal life section and this section deleted afterward

References

• Reference 1 is lacking the work of the source
• Reference 4 does not have the page number on which the story can be found
• Reference 7 is missing Sporting News in the work field
• Reference 23 is missing the page number that the story is featured on

Will put the review on hold to allow the nominator to action/respond to the queries raised here. MWright96 (talk) 12:26, 7 April 2020 (UTC)

• @Sanfranciscogiants17: Now promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 14:36, 7 April 2020 (UTC)