Talk:Bobbili Fort/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:51, 5 June 2016 (UTC)

Will review this soon. Cheers, Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:51, 5 June 2016 (UTC)

• SainsfThanks for the review. Pl put it on hold as I need some time to sort out the issues.

Here are my comments. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 18:34, 5 June 2016 (UTC)

Lead

• The first line of the article is usually in "X is Y" format, but this is not seen here.
  • Restructured

Location

• By "head" do you mean "headquarters"?
  • Corrected
• Say "Raja" not "Rajah"
  • Done
• who survived the Battle of Bobbili (at that time he was a child) --> "who survived the Battle of Bobbili as a child"
  • Done
• Indo-Sarcenic architectural style "Saracenic". Wikilink the term.
  • Done

History

• Very long, can be split into subsections
  • Done
    • I don't see where you have done this. I meant subheadings.
      • Introduced sub headings
• Did a lot of copyediting but stopped midway as I felt I was not able to understand the prose, you must be careful to avoid some obvious errors [1] for the copy editing
  • Thanks for the copy editing
• Can Venkatagiri be linked?
  • Done
• of the present Raja of Bobbili "present" refers to... the time we are speaking of or the present day?
  • Corrected
• for the benevolent gift of the nawab was known as "Sher" (meaning "tiger") Meaning?
  • Mentioned the relvant langauges
  • Defined properly
• Who is Rayadu?
  • Explained
• This resulted in break up of relations between Bussy and the Nizam with Bussy losing his importance. Meaning? It is improperly written
  • Corrected
• Babbli and Vizianagaram I think it should be Bobbli by now?
  • Done
• You write "Bobbili" incorrectly in many places, please fix them yourself
  • Yes. It is uniformly "Bobbili" now
• Who is Bassi?
  • Corrected to General Bassi
• killed their wives and families, fought fiercely but eventually lost the battle Who killed whose relatives? Unclear.
  • Made clear
• Stopping here, first make the prose clear.

Prose is edited

• "Nizam" is linked thrice in the section
  • Removed two extra links
• Is it Peddarayalu or Peddarayadu?
  • Changed to Peddarayadu
• "Bobbili", meaning "the royal tiger" In which language? You can say "Telugu for "royal tiger" " if it is Telugu. Same for ('sher' means "tiger") and (meaning "big tiger").
  • Mentioned relevant languages
• Raja of Vizianagaram instigated "The" Raja
  • Done
• General Bussy was cautious and made an offer "cautiously made an offer" is better
  • Excellent. Yes, done
• scatted in the fort area "scattered"
  • Corrected
• Call him "General Bussy" consistently after he is first mentioned.
  • Yes, done
• handed over a child "over"-->"him"
  • Yes you are right. Corrected
• Change "Bobbili fort" to "Bobbili Fort"
  • Done
• Sitaram Raja of Vizianagaram "Sitaram, the new Raja..."
  • Done
• was agreed with "agreed"-->"made"
  • Done

Features

• Will give a read tomorrow, please do any c/e if the prose is poor here as well.
  • I have moved some text from the first paragraph to the history section
• (20 feet (6.1 m) high at places) This part need not be bracketed
  • Yes, done

Sources

• Some more sources would be appreciated
  • I could find only three book references with some different information which I have added now
• In Bibliography no need to say the page range (it is incomplete by the way) for Gazetteer of South India, and what is that code in the place of ISBN?
  • Removed the page number but I am not sure about the code. Hence, deleted

@Nvvchar: Please respond. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:23, 9 June 2016 (UTC)

• @Sainsf: I am in the process of making changes to meet your review comments. I hope to complete it by tomorrow. The delay is on account of losing the original file where I had all the text and references.Nvvchar. 10:10, 9 June 2016 (UTC)
• @Sainsf: I hope I have addressed all issues raised by you in the article. Will be happy to address any further issues. Thanks.Nvvchar. 07:46, 10 June 2016 (UTC)

• There are still some issues, I have listed them above. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 11:59, 10 June 2016 (UTC)

• @Sainsf:. Wonder full. You are highly meticulous in your review and no wonder you are heading to win the GA Wiki Cup 2016. GA review is definitely not my cup of tea. You are too good. Keep it up and win the cup. I have addressed all the additional issues raised by you. If I have missed something, please take care. Thanks.Nvvchar. 14:24, 10 June 2016 (UTC)

• Thank you. You have definitely not come across many other excellent reviewers, I am nowhere compared to them. The article looks way better, but you must remember not to repeat the mistakes you made here, they can spoil all your hard efforts on these articles :) I am happy to promote this. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 16:24, 10 June 2016 (UTC)

• Thanks,@Sainsf:.Nvvchar. 04:17, 11 June 2016 (UTC)