Talk:Blanche Wheeler Williams/GA1
GA Review edit
| GA toolbox |
|---|
| Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Ruby2010 (talk · contribs) 03:27, 7 January 2018 (UTC)
This one's waited long enough, review coming soon. Ruby2010 (talk) 03:27, 7 January 2018 (UTC)
- Comments and suggestions
- In general for "Career" or "Life" sections, I prefer if they're broken up a bit into subsections for easier reading and navigation, but I'll leave this up to you.
- I usually subdivide when warranted by length, but this article is short enough
- Her family history stretches back to the early New England colonies, including the Plymouth Colony Pilgrims. Should be past tense, also suggest linking to New England Colonies.
- The history exists in the present day, though its events would be in past tense
- She was closely connected with her grandmother in her youth,... Who was her grandmother? Someone of note? Worth mentioning her name, perhaps?
- Not in this case, just an influence (Harriet Lincoln Wheeler)
- After graduation, Williams taught Latin, Greek, and English at her aunt's Mary C. Wheeler School, a Providence, Rhode Island preparatory school, until her 1904 marriage. This sentence is a tad awkwardly written. Perhaps change to After graduation, Williams taught Latin, Greek, and English at her aunt Mary's preparatory school in Providence, Rhode Island, remaining there until her marriage in 1904.?
- Williams became disenchanted with teaching... Do we know why she became disenchanted?
Not really but I don't want to read too much into it, so rephrasedWhile in Rome doing the standard European tour with some of her students, she wrote to a friend of her frustration of traveling with young women, who had no interest in "the sweet loitering about places which we used to do." She continued, "I'm tired of them, and girls generally."
- Is the "fellow Smith alumna Mary Waring" the same person as Mary Fitzbutler Waring, perhaps? Doesn't look like it, but thought I would ask since they lived during the same time period.
- This would be a Mary K. Waring
- Having the most training, Boyd conducted the fieldwork in test pits and measurements while Williams drew maps and the finds. Could you clarify what you mean by "the finds" here? If you're referring to their discoveries, perhaps use that word instead?
- It was to be her only year of excavation, as fieldwork was delayed for two years after the first season, and Williams did not return with Boyd. Do we know why she chose not to embark on another excavation later, especially after being involved on such an important one before?
- Add wikilinks for Minoan religion and terracotta
- Circling back to her aunt's preparatory school above, it might be more accurate to state that she regularly taught there until 1904, since she left for Europe to do the excavation.
- Were any of Wheeler's later essays published? If so, where?
- Slightly unclear from the source, but believe the essays were for the 1908 book about the Boyd expeditions
- ... contributed to a 1908 book on the Isthmus of Hierapetra, which was praised by the archaeology community. She no longer wrote about the region, though she wrote a biography of her aunt and helped her husband with his travel book. This feels abrupt; perhaps clarify that In later life, she no longer wrote about the region...
An interesting subject. Earwig's copyvio tool revealed no issues, and the sourcing is reliable and consistently formatted. I also spotchecked a few cited statements, no issues there. Let me know your thoughts on my suggestions above, no hurry. Ruby2010 (talk) 04:19, 7 January 2018 (UTC)