Talk:Black Mirror/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 23:12, 3 July 2021 (UTC)

• "with a central science fiction technology..." do you mean "centred on science fiction technology" or similar? Because obviously most episodes featured different themes and different technologies...
  • Ah, well I meant any episode has some tech that's central to that episode only, but I think I can drop the word "central" as actively working against that meaning. — Bilorv (talk) 16:54, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "consider the morals of each episode" the award-winning ones or all of them?
  • All of them—so just "the morality of the series" works, I guess. — Bilorv (talk) 16:54, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• Can we clear off the "n.a." in the File:BlackMirrorTitleCard.jpg fair use image?
  • Yep, updated a little. — Bilorv (talk) 16:54, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• Slightly technical question, the colour-coding for each series is all very similar, may fall foul of WP:ACCESS requirements.
  • This is transcluded from List of Black Mirror episodes so I'll talk more about that page. The colours are chosen to match the DVD releases, which is the WikiProject Television standard (for better or worse). I took another look at WP:ACCESS and I don't actually see it raising the issue of contrast between different background colours: what does matter is that the colour is never the only method of communicating information, and there's enough background colour to foreground text contrast. — Bilorv (talk) 16:54, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• No biggie: I seem to recall these multi-series articles which have been released on DVD etc usually have a table with release dates and information on extras etc.
  • I think it's a bit obtuse for the main article (not many people can be consuming the show via DVD, to be quite honest) but this is at List of Black Mirror episodes#Home media release. As far as I know, there's no bonus content or any differences between the DVDs and the episodes as you find them on streaming platforms. (In general I think the lack of official Black Mirror merch is really surprising.) — Bilorv (talk) 16:54, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• I know it may seem obvious, but could you be explicit that the Netflix series saw all episodes simultaneously released (in the prose)?
  • Yep definitely worth saying, rephrased a little. — Bilorv (talk) 16:54, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "with a novel technology " perhaps "novel technologies"?
  •  Done — Bilorv (talk) 16:54, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "The settings are patriarchal and..." all of them?
  • Hmm, added a "generally". — Bilorv (talk) 16:54, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "masculine-coded" I'm not convinced I fully understand this.
  • "coded" is an academic term. It's like "explore topics and themes associated with masculinity (more than femininity)"—if you get someone to close their eyes and picture some terms relating to each episode then most of the time most people will be picturing a man doing it ("bank robbery", "alcoholic") and it's rarer that they'd picture a woman ("flight attendant", "social media user"). And also to do with the number of male/female protagonists/characters. I think Code (semiotics) is about this, but very technical and ill-explained. How about "most episodes explore topics associated more with masculinity than femininity"? — Bilorv (talk) 16:54, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
    • Yes, apologies for my lack of knowledge. A reword would be preferable for us laymen/laywomen... The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 09:23, 7 July 2021 (UTC)
• "unreliablity" typo.
  •  Done — Bilorv (talk) 16:54, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "found in news tickers and social media feeds" + "shown in various episodes"...
  •  Done — Bilorv (talk) 16:54, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "to each prior" I guess each is right, but "every" would seem to convey it more clearly??
  • Yep, sounds more natural. — Bilorv (talk) 16:54, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

Work calls, up to "Production". The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 12:40, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• " for The Guardian and " could link.
  •  Done — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "could do similar" clumsy sounding, maybe "could commentate similarly"?
  •  Done — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "this approach was ... This approach would"... repetitive.
  • Dropped "approach" in the first instance. — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "two to 25 " 2/25 or two/twenty-five.
  • The latter. — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "and was a conscious" and came from a conscious decision?
  •  Done — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "experiment with the format" in what sense?
  • Hmm, I guess "experiment with the tone" is the best description. — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "31,161,225" spaces after commas. Check all.
  •  Done — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "then do iterations " again, sounds clumsy to me, maybe "then iterate between"?
  •  Done — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "The first pitch, to the ..." of Screenwipe? Perhaps I'm confused...
  • Now "The first pitch for Black Mirror ...", think this got messed up when reshuffling sentences around. — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "two characters in a dystopian society." I know this is the top-level article but that's a very top-level description of that episode.
  • I think this is the hardest episode to explain. How about "two characters in a society where most people must cycle each day to earn currency"? — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• I think, perhaps, the episode descriptions here could be a bit more detailed....
  • Very hard to pitch this at the right level, and not sound like an advert hook. I've added a tad more detail to the ones where I thought the central conceit was unclear (so "The Entire History of You" mentions Liam's suspicion, "Be Right Back" mentions the AI etc.). But I feel a couple of episodes here and there (e.g. "San Junipero") can't be explained more without going into several sentences and spoilers. — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "the first: the first" feels clumsy.
  • "Former" and "latter" in the second instance. — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "in an apocalypse" I like the use of this word but is it easily understood?
  • I think it's a pretty well-understood concept, yeah. I'd be more specific but it's not quite a zombie apocalypse even though it's channeling the idea. — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "have suggested doing a" making?
  •  Done — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "try to get co-production money" try to secure co-production funding?
  •  Done — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "increased attention for the" in what sense? Audience? Critics? Both?
  • I guess increased audience attention, leading to critical attention, leading to attention by international producers, but I've just specified audience. — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "get a meeting with Channel 4. They eventually got a meeting" reads clumsy and repetitive.
  • Now "Channel 4 were evasive" in the first part. — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "to US offers" US or U.S., be consistent.
  • See below. — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "of Black Mirror.[58] By this point, Black Mirror was" quick repeat, perhaps "the series" for the second one?
  •  Done — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "regarding a U.K. window" I don't think we normally put full stops in U.K. Or if we do, why is it not U.S. throughout?
  • Consistently without in both cases now. — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• ("more hope" than in previous series.[66] The first episode made was "Arkangel..." this feels ironic...!)
  • (I guess "more hope" still means "one-third hope, at best".) — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "of the program, referred" I think it's mostly been programme before/after this.
  • Yep, that's the British English one. — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "faces a mind-mangling challenge" reads a bit adverty.
  • Yeah absolutely, not my writing and not sure how I overlooked it. Now "... who begins to question reality and experience deteriorating mental health as he adapts a sprawling fantasy novel into a video game". — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "Bandersnatch is an interactive film, regularly" no need to pipe to a redirect.
  •  Done — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "though rights" although.
  •  Done — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• " large number of complaints " how many and did Ofcom just reject them like normal?
  • Changed it to "However, the episode received 145 complaints to the television regulatory body Ofcom, the eighth-largest figure for the year." I think the lack of further comment implies there were no consequences to this, but the source (The Guardian) doesn't actually say and I can't find the old Ofcom weekly report it was in even though I'm fairly sure I've read it and the complaints weren't upheld. — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "but other storylines were" other?
  • Just redundant—removed it. "Some episodes" implies that not all were. — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• " programmes of the 2010s:" big whitespace here?
  • Hmm, looks the same as what we've been doing in the episode articles to me. I know they're rolling out some desktop changes this year—I'm opted-in to the beta ones and they have been changing some whitespace things, so maybe one of those has just gone live? — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
    • Yes, more of an observation than a major issue. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 09:23, 7 July 2021 (UTC)
• "of 2019 or 2020" and?
  •  Done — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "repopularising the anthology format" I thought American Horror Story was principally one storyline per series?
  • Yep, but that's still an anthology as the storylines are completely standalone from series to series (possibly with minor exceptions I'm not aware of). This is part of the reason it's important to clarify that each episode of Black Mirror is standalone, because "anthology" alone doesn't imply that. — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "more comedic than" according to...?
  • Yeah, well the comedy of Inside No. 9 is quite off-beat and black, as is Black Mirror's, but there's still critical consensus from everything I've seen. "that critics saw as more comedic" — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "on Britain's Got Talent. In" italics.
  •  Done — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• Both times.
  •  Done — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "eight and 21 minutes" 8/21 or eight/twenty-one.
  • The latter. — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "United Kingdom" was U.K. (or maybe it should have been UK) earlier.
  • Addressed above. — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• "due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Britain's Got Talent" vs "because of the COVID-19 pandemic in the United Kingdom.[229] " I presume the first COVID-19 link should be to the same as the second because BGT would have had a virtual audience because of the "localised" effects of COVID...
  • Yep, now the UK link on the first instance and no link in the second. — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
• Ref 209, two spaced hyphens should be en-dashes.
  •  Done — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

That's all I have. Very nice work. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 19:37, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

Great, thanks for going through it all. This is probably the most work I've ever done on a single article and the largest-scope article I'm primary writer of. — Bilorv (talk) 23:25, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

Bilorv it's an excellent article. I've added a couple of responses above, but nothing which contravenes WP:WIAGA so I'm happy to promote this. Well done on completing the set and let me know when you nominate the topic! Cheers. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 09:23, 7 July 2021 (UTC)