Talk:Bioinstrumentation
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editGreat article so far!
My content suggestions are:
- You gave a fairly thorough explanation of biosensors, but bioinstrumentation encompasses several other techniques such as DNA sequencing and gel electrophoresis. I would expand on those topics as well because they are very interesting!
- It would be a good idea to add some pictures to your explanations of different devices, so the reader can visualize each technology.
- I liked how you divided the sections into history and present use, because it is interesting to see how it has grown into everyday use.
- Good use of tags and references.
- Your current use section could be improved by breaking it up by field, then further subsections of specific devices.
- Maybe even mention bioinstrumentation in other fields such as agriculture, botany, and chemistry. This article shows a lot of examples: [[1]]
- Go more in depth in your see also section, and maybe add a brief explanation of each that would intrigue the reader to continue.
My syntax suggestions are:
- I would change last sentence in fitness trackers to "with smartphones now capable of ..." to avoid redundancy
- When using "everyday" as an adjective, such as in your second paragraph with "every day lives", it should be written as one word, everyday.
- Heart rate doesn't need to be hyphenated.
Overall, you're off to a great start!
Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
editThis article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Smaravarman, Sdbhutwa, Tsemm. Peer reviewers: Njbaugh, Kadubrou, Jcpate95.
Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 18:02, 17 January 2022 (UTC)
Peer Review
editNjbaugh (talk) 23:49, 13 April 2018 (UTC)Overall your article seems really good!
A few content things that I think could help:
- Define biometrics in your second paragraph.
- You focus on biosensors and don't talk about any medical devices/techniques (MRIs, CT scans, etc). Biosensors are really interesting but there's a lot of other stuff in bio-instrumentation that you might want to look into!
- I'm not sure that step tracking counts as a bioinstrumentation feature for wearables
Some suggestions on syntax:
- You don't need a colon after "alter" in Space-flight paragraph
- Add "the" before "device" in your last sentence of the Current Use section
- Heart rate should be two words, not hyphenated
My biggest suggestion is to add in other types of bioinstrumentation besides biosensors. Bioinstrumentation is a big topic in the medical field and has uses in agriculture and other fields as well.
Good job so far!
Dubious
editThe claim in the first paragraph that "such instrumentation originated as a necessity to constantly monitor vital signs of Astronauts during NASA's Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo missions" is dubious as there are numerous examples from before these missions that, one could argue, may fit the category of bioinstrumentation. It is a simplistic historical assumption. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Rhearty1 (talk • contribs) 22:20, 27 April 2018 (UTC)