Talk:Benjamin Hardin Helm/GA1
Latest comment: 11 years ago by Ceradon in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 05:31, 27 August 2012 (UTC) GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
- Is it reasonably well written?
- A. Prose quality:
- Should be guard "the" Confederate flanks. Twice. Fix this: Remaining under the command of Maj. Gen. Breckinridge, He and was given orders This is awkward: Helm, with the Orphans brigade, joined the Army of Tennessee, where he was with throughout the Tullahoma and Chickamauga campaigns in 1863. Don't you mean: Toward the end of the Spring of 1863? Toward the end of spring 1863 Did Helm deploy the brigade or did it participate or march with Johnston's relief attempt? There's a missing noun in this quote: "the most unpleasant and trying of his career" Capitalize generals in the last paragraph. Fix this: In a matter of an hour, more than one-third of the men of the Orphan brigade lie dead on the battlefield. Don't you mean hidden rather than buried: who was buried in the thick shrubbery around them? Get rid of passive tense here: He was carried off the battlefield and, after being examined by surgeons, it was determined that his wounds were fatal. This is awkward: He managed to hang on for several hours before, realizing that his health was deteriorating, asking who won the battle and, after being reassured that the Confederates had won, he muttered "Victory!, Victory!, Victory!"
- I think I've fixed the issues listed.
- Should be guard "the" Confederate flanks. Twice. Fix this: Remaining under the command of Maj. Gen. Breckinridge, He and was given orders This is awkward: Helm, with the Orphans brigade, joined the Army of Tennessee, where he was with throughout the Tullahoma and Chickamauga campaigns in 1863. Don't you mean: Toward the end of the Spring of 1863? Toward the end of spring 1863 Did Helm deploy the brigade or did it participate or march with Johnston's relief attempt? There's a missing noun in this quote: "the most unpleasant and trying of his career" Capitalize generals in the last paragraph. Fix this: In a matter of an hour, more than one-third of the men of the Orphan brigade lie dead on the battlefield. Don't you mean hidden rather than buried: who was buried in the thick shrubbery around them? Get rid of passive tense here: He was carried off the battlefield and, after being examined by surgeons, it was determined that his wounds were fatal. This is awkward: He managed to hang on for several hours before, realizing that his health was deteriorating, asking who won the battle and, after being reassured that the Confederates had won, he muttered "Victory!, Victory!, Victory!"
- B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
- Delete page count from all sources and and add place of publication.
- I've made the changes requested here, as well.
- Delete page count from all sources and and add place of publication.
- A. Prose quality:
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. References to sources:
- B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
- C. No original research:
- A. References to sources:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Major aspects:
- B. Focused:
- A. Major aspects:
- Is it neutral?
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- Is it stable?
- No edit wars, etc:
- No edit wars, etc:
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
- B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
- Pass or Fail:
I've cleaned up most of the remaining issues, but why did he leave the Kentucky Military Institute and when did he enter West Point?--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 01:38, 8 September 2012 (UTC)