Talk:Battle of the Indus/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

---

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: PizzaKing13 (talk · contribs) 20:12, 2 August 2023 (UTC)

I'll review this article. PizzaKing13 ^¡Hablame! 20:12, 2 August 2023 (UTC)

Infobox

• Mention that the image was produced between 1596–1600  Done
• Malik Khan is mentioned in the infobox but not the body. The body mentions Amin Malik, Akhash Malik, and Temur Malik. Amin and Temur should be mentioned in the infobox with {{KIA}} after their names  Done

Lead

Background

• Remove "disciplined"  Done
• Link Shah Muhammad  Done
• Why did Shah Muhammad doubt his commanders' loyalty?
  • He seems to have been quite a suspicious man. I don't think I can really expand on that in the article. ~~ AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 10:54, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
• Remove the comma after "until April"  Done
• Replace the emdash between 30,000 and 40,000 and "to"  Done
• Replace "men" with "man"  Done
• Link Uzlaq-Shah  Not done doesn't have an article
• "Ogedei" → "Ögedei"  Done
• "shook off" → "evaded"  Done
• "flocked to him" → "joined him"  Done

Battle of Parwan and prelude

• Link Saif al-Din Ighrak  Not done doesn't have an article
• "Jalal ad-Din" and "Jalal ad Din" → "Jalal al-Din"  Done
• Remove "However," at the start of the last paragraph  Done
• "Ogedai" → "Ögedei"  Done
• Delink Ögedei and Chagatai  Done
• "their foes" → "Jalal al-Din's forces"  Done

Battle

• Mention in the image caption that it was produced in the 1540s  Done
• "At dawn" mention the date  Done
• Remove the comma after "defensive position"  Done
• "Ogedai" → "Ögedei"  Done
• "Even though" → "Although"  Done
• "fought on" → "continued to fight"  Done
• List a source for Note b regarding the alternate translation.

• I can't find one, so it has been deleted. ~~ AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 10:56, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

Aftermath

• Is there an article about the state he established in India?  Not done doesn't have an article
• "Jalal" → "Jalal al-Din"  Done
• "Ogedai" → "Ögedei"  Done
• "1223-4" → "1223–4"  Done
• Source for the last sentence in the first paragraph?  Done

Overall

• Sources are ok
• Neutral
• No war edits
• Focused and broad
• Images properly licensed

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a. (prose, spelling, and grammar):

   b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a. (reference section):

   b. (citations to reliable sources):

   c. (OR):

   d. (copyvio and plagiarism):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a. (major aspects):

   b. (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):

   b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/fail:

(Criteria marked are unassessed)

@AirshipJungleman29: I've left some comments for the review. PizzaKing13 ^¡Hablame! 20:55, 2 August 2023 (UTC)

• PizzaKing13 replies above. Thanks for the review! ~~ AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 11:01, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

@AirshipJungleman29: Everything looks good. I'll pass this article. PizzaKing13 ^¡Hablame! 19:14, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.