Talk:Bangerz/GA3

Latest comment: 10 years ago by XXSNUGGUMSXX in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 05:05, 20 April 2014 (UTC)Reply

Prose
Lead
  • I'd merge the first two paragraphs into one. While four paragraphs is accepted for lead sections, the first paragraph seems rather short, and it is often encouraged to stick to a limit of three paragraphs (take for example Here We Go Again by Demi Lovato and Prism by Katy Perry, which are both GA's, and 4 by Beyoncé, which is FA). Seems unbalanced otherwise.
  •   Done
  • "Described by Cyrus as "dirty south hip-hop", Bangerz represents a musical departure from her earlier work, which she has grown to feel "disconnected" from." is a lengthy section. Try something like "Cyrus described Bangerz as a "dirty south hip-hop" album. It represents musical departure from her earlier work, which she became "disconnected" from."
  •   Done
  • "The lyrical themes revolve largely around romance, which were reportedly inspired by Cyrus' former fiancé Liam Hemsworth"..... I'd have this simply say "The lyrical themes revolve largely around romance", keep such details in composition section for certain songs
  •   Done
  • "It is the third-highest opening week for a female artist in 2013, behind Beyoncé by Beyoncé and Prism by Katy Perry." → "It was the third-highest opening week for a female artist in 2013, behind Beyoncé by Beyoncé and Prism by Katy Perry."
  •   Done
  • I'd remove the "Three singles have been released from Bangerz thus far." bit unless it is certain that there will be no more singles from the album.
  •   Done
Background and production
  • The bit on dropping record label Hollywood Records belongs in her own main article, not here
  •   Done
  • The bit on cutting her hair is trivial- I'd remove it
  •   Done
  • Info on a fifth album also belongs in her own main article, not here
  •   Done
Release and artwork
  • Info on being engaged doesn't belong here at all
  •   Done
Composition
  • The photo of Liam really isn't needed- it would be better to have a photo of someone who was involved in lyric writing, producing, composition, etc. of the album.
  •   Done
  • You don't need to list how many tracks are on the album
  •   Done
Impact
  • The Christina Aguilera image really isn't needed, better to if anything have someone involved in the creation of the album
  •   Done
  • Per MOS:PUNCT and MOS:QUOTEMARKS, "the seismic event that ensured we’d never recall 2013 without thinking of her" should read "the seismic event that ensured we'd never recall 2013 without thinking of her" in the first paragraph after the quotebox.
  •   Done
Track listing
  • All the instances were "Williams II" is used (aside from Michael L. Williams II) should just read "Williams"
  • Wouldn't that be confusing since Pharrell Williams is listed as a songwriter/producer, too?
  • My mistake, should've noticed Pharrell. Use then M. Williams and P. Williams where appropriate. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 18:08, 20 April 2014 (UTC)Reply
Sourcing
Release and artwork
  • Find a better source than ref#19 (Huffington Post) or remove altogether- they are known for fraudulent reports in things like politics, science, medicine, and also celebs
  •   Done
Composition
  • Remove ref#21 (Huffington Post)
  •   Done
  • Per WP:OVERCITE, ref#34 should only be used at the end of the "sea of blinking synths and unthawed crooning" bit in the second paragraph, at the end of the "three of which were produced by Pharrell Williams" bit in the third paragraph, and once more at the end of the third paragraph
  •   Done
Singles
  • Find a better source than ref#45 (Us Weekly) or remove altogether- it is a gossip magazine
  •   Done
  • Find a better source than ref#61 (Huffington Post) or remove altogether
  •   Done
Promotion
  • Replace ref#69 (Daily Mail) with a more reliable source or remove altogether- it is a tabloid that has been repeatedly declared unreliable at WP:RSN
  •   Done
  • Remove ref#78 (Metro)- it is also a tabloid
  •   Done
  • Remove ref#85 (New York Daily News)- it is also a tabloid
  •   Done
  • Replace ref#87 (New York Daily News) with a more reliable source or remove altogether
  •   Done
  • Replace ref#88 (Metro) with a more reliable source or remove altogether
  •   Done
  • Replace ref#88 (Mirror aka Daily Mirror) with a more reliable source or remove altogether- it is a tabloid
  •   Done
  • Replace ref#93 (Hollywood Life) with a more reliable source or remove altogether- its reliability is questionable at best
  •   Done
  • Replace ref#94 (New York Daily News) with a more reliable source or remove altogether
  •   Done
  • Replace ref#97 (PopCrush) with a more reliable source or remove altogether- WP:RSN has indicated it has no evidence of credibility or viable credentials
  •   Done
  • Replace ref#98 (New York Daily News) with a more reliable source or remove altogether
  •   Done
  • Replace ref#101 (WetPaint) with a more reliable source or remove altogether- seems questionable
  •   Done
Bangerz Tour
  • Replace ref#105 (New York Post) with a more reliable source or remove altogether- it is also a tabloid
  •   Done
Critical reception
  • Remove ref#124 (New York Daily News)
  •   Done
Accolades
  • Replace ref#130 (Huffington Post) with a better source or remove altogether
  •   Done
Commercial performance
  • More MOS:QUOTEMARKS errors- "Cyrus’s ‘Bangerz’ Hits No. 1" should read ). "Cyrus's 'Bangerz' Hits No. 1"
  •   Done
  • More WP:OVERCITE- ref#141 (Ultratop) is used excessively in the second paragraph. Just use it once at the "debuted at number four on the Portuguese Albums Chart" bit before ref#144 (Associação Fonográfica Portuguesa), and once at the "charted at number one on the Argentinian CAPIF chart and the Brazilian ABPD chart" bit before ref#145 (Yahoo).
  •   Done
Promotion
  • More MOS:QUOTEMARKS errors- "Miley Cyrus Performs 'We Can’t Stop' for First Time" should read "Miley Cyrus Performs 'We Can't Stop' for First Time"
  •   Done
Impact
  • Find a better source than ref#148 (Huffington Post) for establishing Miley's sexualized image
  •   Done
Release history
  • These all need citations
  • All the citations are attached in their own separate columns at the end of each row.
Coverage
  • No problems here
Neutrality
  • No problems here
Stability
  • No problems here
GA Result
  • If the above is all addressed within the next seven days, I will pass the GAN.
  • Thanks so much for your review; your comments really helped me trim out some of the fluff in the article, which is easy to miss when you're writing the article the first time around! I believe I've covered everything above, and if there's anything else to be done, I will be more than happy to take care of it! WikiRedactor (talk) 16:35, 20 April 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • Just take a look at how ref#93 (Miami Herald) is being displayed and address the bit on the Williams issue. After that, we're good to go!