Talk:Baby Not on Board/GA3

Latest comment: 12 years ago by J Milburn in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: J Milburn (talk) 10:18, 26 May 2011 (UTC)Reply

I see this one has already been reviewed a few times, but I worry that's it's still not at GA level.

  • "The episode features baby Stewie, after he is accidentally left home alone, while the rest of his family intend on visiting the Grand Canyon." Odd phrase
  • "The Griffin family soon" The rest of the family
  • "While they rush home, Peter continually bungles their attempt," Again, odd phrasing
  • "wastes all of his diapers" "Wastes" is not the best word; I don't think it can be used in the way you think it can
  • File:FGBabyNotOnBoard.png is a generic shot of Stewie looking shocked. I really don't get what it's adding.
  • "The episode received mixed reviews from critics for its storyline, and many cultural references." The episode received many cultural references?
  • "reveals to his father about" Rephrase?
  • "to their basement wall" Whose basement wall?
  • "McBurgertown" The link here is a little odd...
  • The plot section is a tiny bit long. Perhaps some unwarranted details could be cut?
  • There is a lot more to be said concerning the production. Who wrote the episode? When? How long did it take? What was their inspiration? Who guest-starred? What you've included in the section are "extras", apparently at the expense of the standard stuff.
  • The cultural references section seems somewhat out of place; my reaction, in many ways, is "so what?" It's just a list of some of the jokes in the episode... It gets particularly listy towards the end, and it's no longer referenced.
    • "At the spa," What spa?
    • "The scene in which Joe is cleaning his wheelchair" Implies we should know of that scene
  • "One of his other criticisms of the episode were the Back to the Future references and the plot line of the episode." Rephrase/restructure?
  • "the musical number" Yet to be mentioned
  • "the Aquaman rape gag and the Ground Zero joke" Again, these are referred to as if we know what they are
  • "but he did comment positively to some jokes" Doesn't make sense
  • "as the fight between Peter and Quagmire, ... Stewie's reaction to the magazine under Chris' bed" Again
  • "the Lord of the Rings gag."
  • The references could do with some links and formatting fixes. For example, why is the phrase "DVD commentary for the episode "Baby Not on Board"" in italics? Why no link to IGN? Is Channel Guide Magazine literally a magazine? (If so, italicise). Ref 5 lacks a publisher. Etc.
  • The navbox thing at the bottom showing episode chronology needs speech marks

This article is somewhat lacking. It's not the worst GAC I've ever reviewed, but it's a long way from ready. Are there really no other decent sources out there? J Milburn (talk) 10:49, 26 May 2011 (UTC)Reply

I've improved on most of the sections, but I'm gonna need some additional help finding sources. Transcripts are a good idea for sourcing; it helped me with "420 (Family Guy)". Queenieacoustic is able to help with the transcripts, so I'll ask him for it. Yahoo! TV also has production info.

BTW, there is an IGN link, and "DVD commentary for the episode "Baby Not on Board"" is supposed to be in italics. Railer-man (talk) 18:05, 2 June 2011 (UTC)Reply

I was meaning a wikilink. And why should it be in italics? See the guideline. J Milburn (talk) 00:06, 3 June 2011 (UTC)Reply