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Latest comment: 17 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
No spaces around parentheses; italics on song titles where quotes should be; quotes on album titles where italics should be; strange choices of which phrases to use for wikilinks. Also, the end of the article seems pretty disjointed. --Closeapple 10:26, 4 December 2006 (UTC)Reply
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Latest comment: 4 years ago4 comments2 people in discussion
Okay, so here the subject of the article was identified by race and gender before occupation. I took "female" out because she is identified by gender frequently throughout the article (and later in the lede), and her achievements, while ineluctably tied in some way to her gender (her vocals being, specifically, female, in the cultural imagination), again aren't really directly related to why she is notable - she is notable for being a singer, rather than for being specifically female. Here, again, I added the geographical designation (it is her nationality - perhaps a different geographical anchor could be used, such as state or city of birth? It's not standard practice, but I don't in principle oppose it) and moved the ethnicity to early in the body of the text (unsourced, but did not remove to avoid erasure). The lede is so short that it didn't seem to make sense here to consider trying to add the ethnicity to the second sentence, and I think here, as well, her notability isn't tightly tied to her ethnicity in such a way that it would make sense to include it in the lede per MOS. Chubbles (talk) 21:39, 6 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
50-50, yes, it isn't necessary to indicate gender explicitly, because it's clear from the context (and ghettoizing to over-emphasize on a field where there are many women) but ethnicity matters. Notability is not the only criterion for the lead, the lead must summarize the article (we WP:LEAD) and generally in doing so it also establishes notability. (I've worked on a couple featured articles, so I've been doing this for a bit and have written a lot of ledes) I restored ethnicity, as geographical designation as "American" is less primary to who she is than is her ethnicity, music genre and cultural context. She'd be equally notable if she were Canadian, Caribbean or whatever. This is a good example of BRD, where you mean well, but you need to understand the complete context and remember sometimes WP:IAR applies over this week's consensus on a guideline page—which may have developed without input from any of the editors working on articles most affected by it. In the case of this article, what it needs are sources. Montanabw(talk) 00:17, 7 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
Certainly, it does need sources; no disagreement there. The lede must summarize the article, and in this case, it does a poor job of it (it's an underdeveloped article, and I didn't pick it based on quality). One problem with that adjustment is that, well, it no longer summarizes the article; her ethnicity is now only mentioned very first thing in the article, and nowhere else. This is a WP:UNDUE issue - it makes it seem like her blackness is the most important thing about her, because it's not a typical thing to mention first (whereas a geographical anchor is a typical thing to mention first, and so doesn't have that level of weight in primacy). It's something we don't do - have never done, and actively discourage in the MOS - on most singers' pages, including R&B singers, including black R&B singers. I don't follow how IAR applies in this special case - it seems rather run-of-the-mill, actually, for a singer of popular music. The geographical anchor doesn't have to be there - we could shift it elsewhere or move it entirely, as well; would the article read better if it simply started out with what is her actual reason for notability - that B Angie B is an R&B singer? We could also expand the lede and include race there in the next couple of sentences, which would still not summarize the article appropriately, but would refrain from any sort of erasure or burying (if placement in the biography is seen to be objectionable) and still solve problems of confusion or undue weight. It might offer the opportunity to include some of the context you see lacking here (and I don't contest that there is ethnic context worth including and enlarging on this and similar articles). Chubbles (talk) 03:48, 7 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
I expanded the article, cleaned up what I could (it's not super easy to verify her biographical information through third-party sources), and expanded the lede along the lines I suggested above. The article's far from perfect, but it's a start, and I think has started to address some of the issues that have been raised here. Chubbles (talk) 17:26, 17 May 2020 (UTC)Reply