Talk:Avenue Range Station massacre/GA1

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Peacemaker67 in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: Adityavagarwal (talk · contribs) 10:56, 24 October 2017 (UTC)Reply

I am happy to pick it up for a review! Making straight-forward changes as I go, so please feel very free to revert any mistake I commit!   Adityavagarwal (talk) 10:56, 24 October 2017 (UTC)Reply

  • "In May of that year" how about "In May that year"?
  • You could mention James's brother's name in full: Archibald Brown.
  • "was hanged in 1847" are we also able to find the month there?
  • "pioneer" It looks slightly puffy, and the word can be removed altogether. Although, it is about a part of a country, so I do not think it should be a problem to have the word and, furthermore, it really is amazing to know about the fact that only one such sentence had ever been given!
  • "was sent to the area to investigate, arriving on 19 February" can it be reworded?
  • "Massacre, investigation and legal proceedings" the heading should have a comma before "and", to be consistent with Oxford commas used throughout the article!
  • "Adelaide on 11 June" you should add the year here.
  • "In July, the South" the year should be mentioned here too!
  • Do we also know the month Brown died in?

A really well-written article. I guess that is all I have to nitpick on! Adityavagarwal (talk) 11:20, 24 October 2017 (UTC)Reply

Thanks, Adityavagarwal. All done, except for Archibald Brown, which I think would be unnecessary, and the month of the hanging, which I don't have to hand. Cheers, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 23:22, 24 October 2017 (UTC)Reply
Added month of hanging, as well as source and location of murder (also in the south east of the colony). Cheers, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 02:23, 25 October 2017 (UTC)Reply
Looks great! Apologies for the delay. Had a really busy day yesterday. I would in fact love it to go to FAC too! :D Well done! Adityavagarwal (talk) 07:03, 26 October 2017 (UTC)Reply
No worries. I'll push it through Milhist A-Class review before putting it up for FAC. Thanks again, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 07:21, 26 October 2017 (UTC)Reply

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