Talk:Aubin Grove railway station/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 22:58, 29 January 2022 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
· · ·

Copy changes

Lead section

• The journey to Perth railway station is 23.8 kilometres (14.8 mi), and takes 21 minutes. — remove comma

Description

• First paragraph is somewhat redundant to lead; consider migrating relevant refs into lead and removing
  • I disagree. WP:LEAD says that significant information should not appear in the lead if it is not covered in the remainder of the article.
• The adjacent stations are Cockburn Central railway station towards Perth, — remove comma
• three person — hyphenate

History

• announced it would built the station — "would build"
• The station was planned to relieve pressure at Cockburn Central station, which has its carparks full at 7:11am, the earliest of any Mandurah line station. — Time needs a space, e.g. 7:11 am or 7:11 a.m. See MOS:TIME.
• Consider rewording the section of "early contractor involvement contractor" to space out the two instances of the word "contractor".
• This increased the project's budget to $105 million, — remove comma
• De-hyphenate "late-2015", "late-2016", etc.
• Main Roads was reluctant to approve the closures, with them only being approved the week before the first closure. — awkward them, maybe Main Roads was reluctant to approve the closures, only doing so the week before the first closure?
• ...asbestos-containing material was discovered", — remove comma
• 10.56am — convert to colon, also see above on spacing

Services

• every 10 minutes on peak during weekdays, — remove comma
• half-hourly, or hourly — remove comma

Referencing

• Reference #2 to Google Maps should be replaced with a higher-quality map source. It may be the case that no reference is needed for something as obvious as its location. See also the advice about the first paragraph.
  • I decided to just remove that reference, seeing as its location is obvious enough.

Other items

• References are archived.
• Earwig mostly catches quotes from Main Roads.
• A {{clear}} should be added at the end of the Services section to permit the references to be full-width. (On my screen, they are not.)
• The infobox needs an |alt= parameter for the image in the header. The individual images are all alt-tagged and appropriately licensed.

Commas, commas, commas

You will notice a lot of "remove comma". This is because you are using commas where no comma is called for because there is no joining of what could otherwise be two sentences with ", and". If you take this out, and you do not have two sentences, don't put the comma back in.

Using the lead section example:

• The journey to Perth railway station is 23.8 kilometres (14.8 mi), and takes 21 minutes. to {The journey to Perth railway station is 23.8 kilometres (14.8 mi). Takes 21 minutes. — N "Takes 21 minutes" is not a standalone sentence. This SHOULD read The journey to Perth railway station is 23.8 kilometres (14.8 mi) and takes 21 minutes.

But if it read The journey to Perth railway station is 23.8 kilometres (14.8 mi), and it takes 21 minutes., "It takes 21 minutes" is a separate sentence, so a comma is appropriate.

Summary

Putting on hold, Steelkamp, for repair of the copy changes, the Google Maps reference, the clear tag and an alt for the infobox image. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 23:23, 29 January 2022 (UTC)

• I have implemented all but one of your suggestions. See that comment for why. Steelkamp (talk) 11:37, 30 January 2022 (UTC)

  Passing, because I think that's fair. It's not my personal choice, but it's an understandable one. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 03:18, 31 January 2022 (UTC)