Talk:Athletes for Kids
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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
editThis article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Mspoon1994. Peer reviewers: Amyabsa.
Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 17:39, 17 January 2022 (UTC)
Feedback
edit@Mspoon1994: Greetings! I had some feedback on the article.
- As a practical matter, you should integrate your references into the text of the article and should consider providing more than just hyperlinks. I've found this page useful but there are other useful sources as well: Help:Referencing for beginners
- You only have two references. One is a link to the organizations website and the second is a link to a local newspapers. To establish notability under WP:ORG you're likely going to need multiple references from reliable sources.
- You have lots of detail in the text of the article. It would be good to include reliable references to third-party sources to help support some of those facts.
- Watch tone and try to use language that is neutral and objective. For example, phrases like "friendship has the power to restore a child’s faith in life" seem more like the kind of thing you'd expect on the organizations website than in a neutral third-party write-up. I think the tone is actually pretty good but you want to try to avoid sound like an advertisement.
Why don't you add some references and improve the article and when you think it's all done, go ahead and move it. Good work and good luck! —mako๛ 02:57, 26 October 2015 (UTC)
Hi @Mspoon1994:
- Your article looks great!
- I thought you used very appropriate objective tone throughout the entire article
- I made some very minor edits to some of your wording, such as adding practicing (a) sport, to make it a little easier to understand while reading.
- The only sentence I thought you might consider rewording is the last sentence in your third paragraph about monthly mentorship meetings, it is a little confusing.
- Your sources all seemed appropriate and I thought you had adequate notability for this subject
I enjoyed reading your article and learning about Athletes for Kids! Great work. Amyabsa (talk) 04:29, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
@Mspoon1994: Howdy! So just by looking up Athletes for kids on Google, I found a lot of other useful information you might be able to use. From the website http://www.seattlefoundation.org/npos/Pages/AthletesforKids.aspx I found that there were other places involved other than the places you listed. For example Bellevue, Kirkland, and Woodinville. It also showed the progress of how many people had been mentored since 2002 when it started. The number was approximately 750 people, it showed the current number going through the program as well. I found two other websites http://www.volunteermatch.org/search/org416442.jsp#more_info_tab and http://www.wamentors.org/athletes-kids that tell me more about the age range of kids being mentored. Grades 1-8 or 5-14. Although I am not sure how to do it, I think that adding categories such as nonprofit organization, high school program, mentor, or things along those lines might be good. My last though was maybe adding an external link to a home organization website. That's all for now, keep up the good work! BrandieBreezy (talk) 06:16, 31 October 2015 (UTC)