Talk:Arthur W. Radford/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Hchc2009 (talk · contribs) 20:16, 28 December 2012 (UTC)
Will read through and start the review proper tomorrow. Hchc2009 (talk) 20:16, 28 December 2012 (UTC)
- Nice article - minor points below, will put on hold. Hchc2009 (talk) 09:52, 30 December 2012 (UTC)
- Cheers - looks good, will mark up as GA. Hchc2009 (talk) 16:14, 31 December 2012 (UTC)
Well-written:
(a) the prose is clear and concise, respects copyright laws, and the spelling and grammar are correct;
- "**** Admiral" (the four star icon) in the infobox on my screen looked rather like someone had redacted an expletive! Might just be the way my mind works though (if it were admiral, then the stars, it might be clearer though)
- Yeah, those have occasionally been a problem. Removed that image altogether. —Ed!(talk) 15:47, 31 December 2012 (UTC)
- "In this post he saw his first wartime duty during World War I." - this sentence is ambiguous (it could mean that he saw his first wartime duty, during WWI, or that this was the first of his WWI duties)
- Clarified. —Ed!(talk) 15:47, 31 December 2012 (UTC)
- "and tours Stateside" - I'd have gone for "and tours in the U.S." (or similar) as Stateside is a term specific to US English.
- "dawn to dusk six days a week" - are we sure this is what was meant? (dawn to dusk in December being fairly short - 07:30 to 17:00, which aren't outrageous hours, even allowing for modern Beltway traffic!)
- That's what the source said, and I found it's too difficult to attach better times to it. I put it in quotes so you know it's from the source. —Ed!(talk) 15:47, 31 December 2012 (UTC)
- " Radford sought heavily to integrate" - minor, but you could lose the "heavily" here.
- "The first major operations in the Central Pacific would begin soon thereafter." > "The first major operations in the Central Pacific began that November."? (Avoids the reader having to move back a section to establish the chronology)
(b) it complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
Factually accurate and verifiable:
(a) it provides references to all sources of information in the section(s) dedicated to the attribution of these sources according to the guide to layout;
- All good. Hchc2009 (talk) 09:36, 30 December 2012 (UTC)
(b) it provides in-line citations from reliable sources for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines;
- All good. Hchc2009 (talk) 09:36, 30 December 2012 (UTC)
(c) it contains no original research.
- None found. Hchc2009 (talk) 09:52, 30 December 2012 (UTC)
Broad in its coverage:
(a) it addresses the main aspects of the topic;
(b) it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without bias, giving due weight to each.
- Appears neutral at this stage. Hchc2009 (talk) 09:35, 30 December 2012 (UTC)
Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
- Stable. Hchc2009 (talk) 09:35, 30 December 2012 (UTC)
Illustrated, if possible, by images:
(a) images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content;
- Tagged correctly. Hchc2009 (talk) 09:35, 30 December 2012 (UTC)
(b) images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
- Really minor, but "Radford (right) with Captain Joseph J. Clark aboard Yorktown in October 1943." - is this a full sentence? (I'm not sure its got a verb) Hchc2009 (talk) 09:35, 30 December 2012 (UTC)
- Nope, that's valid. Corrected it. Thanks very much for your review! —Ed!(talk) 15:47, 31 December 2012 (UTC)