Talk:Archibald Cary Smith/GA1

Latest comment: 3 years ago by Doug Coldwell in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 18:37, 26 May 2020 (UTC)Reply

Criteria edit

1. Prose  Pass

2. Verifiability  Pass

3. Depth of Coverage  Pass

4. Neutral  Pass

5. Stable  Pass

6. Illustrations  Pass

7. Miscellaneous  Pass

Comments edit

1.

  • "55 year" - hyphenate (appears in lead and body)
  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:52, 26 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • Any way to expand the lead a little?
  Done Increased 50%. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:49, 26 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "Smith's paternal grandfather was an ironmaster and had gone to sea as a sailor, so inspired Smith of sailing." - The second clause of this "so inspired ..." doesn't connect cleanly to the rest, can this be rephrased?
  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:04, 27 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "It was an 18-foot sloop which became famous that defeated all rivals for years." - Also needs rephrasing, the clauses don't run together well
  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:14, 27 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • Link Chester, Pennsvylania and Delaware River
  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:59, 26 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "old rule-o-thumb method" - Do you mean "rule-of-thumb"?
  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:59, 26 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "He designed the Sound steamers" - I'm assuming that since Sound is capitalized, it has some specific meaning. That meaning isn't clear from the text.
  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:38, 27 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "This was Meteor III.[28]" - I don't think this is necessary, since the entire paragraph is about the Meteor III, so an ending specifying it isn't necessary.
  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:48, 26 May 2020 (UTC)Reply

2.

  • "The method has since been taught at Cornell University, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, the Naval Academy at Annapolis, and the Webb Academy at New York" - I think it would be better to get a source newer than 1902 to talk about where it is taught - the sentence makes it sound like a current method, but a 118-year old source doesn't do much to confirm anything; teaching and construction methods have changed much in the last century
  Done - rewording accordingly to reflect that systematic calculated drawing was a new method taught at those institutions. It is best referenced at Outing1902 on page 228. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:58, 27 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • Add OCLCs where applicable
  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • America-scoop looks to be a self-published personal website. Does the author have the credentials that would render this reliable?
  Done -  Removed --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:49, 27 May 2020 (UTC)Reply

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7.

Placing on hold. Hog Farm (talk) 18:53, 26 May 2020 (UTC)Reply

@Hog Farm: - All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:22, 27 May 2020 (UTC)Reply