Talk:Angel Heart/GA1

Latest comment: 8 years ago by FrankRizzo2006 in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:40, 4 April 2016 (UTC)Reply


Ok I will take a look, make straightforward copyedits as I go and jot queries below. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 20:40, 4 April 2016 (UTC)Reply

As he wrote the script, Parker made several changes from the novel Falling Angel. - you've already mentioned the novel name so it is unnecessary here.
He titled his script Angel Heart, as he wanted "to give the film an identity of its own, separate from its literary beginnings" - can be rewritten to not use a direct quote. Direct quote marks are often jarring to read, so using them only in places where they are really distinctive and add something is prudent....
The "identity of its own" sounds schmoozy like from an advertising brochure...but I can't think of an alternative so not a deal-breaker at this point....
''Parker sought to make Harry Angel a "sympathetic" character. - sounds odd, also be good to de-quote. You mean it to be "Parker sought to make Harry Angel a character that evokes sympathy." (?)
it took extensive convincing for him to actually commit to the role - any elaboration from source here would be good...
to "defuse the tension" of the scene - can be rewritten to not use a direct quote.
What I meant was to change the wording as well to distance from source paraphrasing-wise, so maybe something like, "to make the actors more comfortable while shooting" or something like it.

Thanks for reviewing the article, Casliber. I have gone through the article and made the changes you brought up thus far, including De Niro's commitment to the role. FrankRizzo (talk) 21:41, 4 April 2016 (UTC)Reply

The De Niro stuff is really cool - any color like this is great - anything about (for instance) casting..any other alternate actors..etc.
Thanks for your replies. I've taken your comments into consideration.
  • I've expanded on details involving the casting.
  • I've changed to "defuse the tension" of the scene to your suggestion of "to make the actors more comfortable while shooting".
  • I've also removed the "identity of its own" comment in the Writing column. "Parker made several changes from the novel, and titled his script Angel Heart." If possible, I could change this to "Parker titled his script Angel Heart as he wanted to distance his film adaptation from the source material." FrankRizzo (talk) 16:07, 5 April 2016 (UTC)Reply

Casliber, are you still reviewing the article? FrankRizzo (talk) 05:16, 9 April 2016 (UTC)Reply

Whoops, sorry, yes I like your suggestion above to change to "Parker titled his script Angel Heart as he wanted to distance his film adaptation from the source material." Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 07:06, 9 April 2016 (UTC)Reply

Thank you very much, Casliber, for reviewing and passing the article! FrankRizzo (talk) 15:21, 9 April 2016 (UTC)Reply

1. Well written?:

Prose quality:   - just waiting on last tweak above. all good
Manual of Style compliance:  

2. Factually accurate and verifiable?:

References to sources:   (NB: fals positive with earwig's copyvio detector due to quotes - clear)
Citations to reliable sources, where required:  
No original research:  

3. Broad in coverage?:

Major aspects:  
Focused:  

4. Reflects a neutral point of view?:

Fair representation without bias:  

5. Reasonably stable?

No edit wars, etc. (Vandalism does not count against GA):  

6. Illustrated by images, when possible and appropriate?:

Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:   (on FU image of film poster)
Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:  


Overall:

Pass or Fail:   - just final couple of things - looking good otherwise. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 08:09, 5 April 2016 (UTC) all good. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 07:06, 9 April 2016 (UTC)Reply