Talk:Angel Beats!/GA1
Latest comment: 12 years ago by Cloud668 in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Cloud668 (talk · contribs) 07:30, 17 May 2012 (UTC)
This is my first GA review, so hopefully I am not missing anything.
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- No major problems here
other than a single dead ref.
- No major problems here
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- Reasonably covered for the released aspects of the series (anime, manga, etc.)
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
Two of the character bios kind of sound like they imply a point of view as mentioned below. No other major issues.No major issues.
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No problem here. There have been no edit wars except a minor disagreement regarding the wording in the Reception section, which I assume is resolved. That, however, introduced a problem I will talk about in the comments.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Two images that sufficiently illustrate the article. Both have sufficient FUR, and have suitable captions.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
On hold.See comments below.
- Pass/Fail:
Comments edit
- Lead
"Angel Beats! received mixed reviews by critics." – The first sentence in the reception section states that the anime received "generally positive reviews.""P.A Works is praised..." – since the reviews were published in the past, and that you used "was praised" in the preceding sentence, this should probably use "was" as well.
- Plot
- "Angel Beats! takes place at a high school acting as a limbo...continuing to an afterlife or reincarnation. Those in the afterlife school..."
– Limbo is arguably an afterlife, but I won't worry about that part too muchas I am a follower of the church of Madoka.– The latter part is a little misleading, as it suggests students in an afterlife may continue to another afterlife.
"Their only enemy is Angel, a girl with supernatural powers who fights against the SSS." – You don't necessarily need to fix this, but "a girl who has supernatural powers and fights against the SSS" might sound better."As Otonashi begins to get used to things, the first of the characters to fulfill her dream and pass on is Iwasawa, the leader of Girls Dead Monster, who disappears in front of a crowd of people." – This is too wordy; you can probably do away with the first part of the sentence.Funny, but my music player shuffled to "My Song".
- Characters
Under Fujimaki, "...but does not seem like a bad person himself." – This kind of sounds like it implies a certain viewpoint, so you may want to phrase it differently.- You don't necessarily have to work on this, but Fujimaki's, Miyukichi's, and Shiorin's bios are relatively shorter. I know these three receive about the least attention in the anime, but is there anything else from the guidebook that can be used to expand these sections?
- Production
Yukiko Amagi and Shiki Ryōgi should be linked to Persona 4's and Kara no Kyōkai's character lists (and the latter not to Tōko). No other major issues here.
- Books and publications
"The main character of the stories is Hinata, and is a prequel to Angel Beats!..." – the latter part of this sentence implies that The main character is a prequel.You may want to go into the guidebook briefly in this section, especially since how it was used as a reference for a majority of the Characters section.
- Manga
"A four-panel comic strip manga illustrated by Haruka Komowata titled...began serialization..." – This is a little wordy. You may want to make this a parenthetic phrase. "A four-panel comic strip manga, illustrated by Haruka Komowata and titled..., began serialization...".I often see your sentences lack commas for these, but I won't worry about most of them (unless it gets confusing) as I think it's a matter of personal preference.
- Anime
The first sentence is a little wordy. Try adding commas like what I suggested above.
- Reception
Ref 87 went dead, and doesn't appear to have an archived instance.- No other major problems.
I believe this article meets the good article criteria except a few issues noted above. I am putting this review on hold until these are discussed here or addressed. Thanks! -- クラウド668 07:30, 17 May 2012 (UTC)
- Looks good. Allow me to read through this again before I pass this as a GA. Thanks! -- クラウド668 02:42, 18 May 2012 (UTC)
- A few more:
- Characters
Matsushita's favourite food is niku udon instead of gyūdon.
- Anime
"The eyecatches used in the series feature the series logo on a white background with the note middle A played a single time." – This seems a little out of place, and I am not sure if it's necessary.You may also want to add a note that each BD volume comes with a commentary track narrated by the characters and written by Maeda.
- Events
- "Lia and Aoi Tada sang their songs from "My Soul, Your Beats! / Brave Song"...and Lia and LiSA also sang "My Soul, Your Beats!" as a duet." – Does this mean "My Soul, Your Beats!" was performed twice?