Talk:American Samoa at the 2020 Summer Olympics/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: Arconning (talk · contribs) 04:11, 25 May 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) 18:28, 11 June 2024 (UTC)

Claiming per GANC. Comments to come. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 18:28, 11 June 2024 (UTC)

@PCN02WPS Been more than seven days, pinging for some comments^^ :) Arconning (talk) 07:12, 19 June 2024 (UTC)

@Arconning As with the '36 Liechtenstein review, sorry to have taken so long with this. I have had very little free time the last week or so, though that doesn't excuse this taking so long. I will have comments up tonight, thanks again for your patience! PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 01:13, 23 June 2024 (UTC)

@PCN02WPS Thank you! :) Arconning (talk) 03:06, 23 June 2024 (UTC)

@PCN02WPS I'll probably get to your comments in a few days (3 to 4 days), though I assure you they will be addressed. :) Arconning (talk) 10:18, 25 June 2024 (UTC)

@Arconning I’m in no position to rush anybody given how long it took me to get to this in the first place! Take your time. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 13:26, 25 June 2024 (UTC)

@PCN02WPS I believe everything's great now! Arconning (talk) 03:08, 1 July 2024 (UTC)

Lead and infobox

• I'm not sure that it's accurate to say that "most of the athletes...were invited through universality slots" when 3 of their 6 weren't
  •  Done

Background

• The colon in the first sentence seems very out of place, and "namely" is unnecessary too
  •  Done
• Why is the Honolulu connecting flight relevant?
  •  Done. Renamed to "Delegation and travel" considering other Olympic-related articles, travel section would be too small if put here so I decided to merge them.
• "Hoesch and Paige were the last American Samoan athletes to compete at the Games" -- as with the Liechtenstein article, this seems like a detail irrelevant to the athletes themselves as it likely just reflects that their events were scheduled last
  •  Done
• Pipe the link for "Parade of Nations" since the "2020 Summer Olympics" portion of it goes without saying
  •  Done
• The first (and only) sentence of the first paragraph of "Opening and closing ceremonies" is very long and should be split into 2 or 3 sentences
  •  Done. Made into two sentences.
• "the parade of nations" → if this is capitalized in the first paragraph it should be capitalized here
  •  Done

Competitors

• "The following is the list of number of competitors in the Games" → is this section/table necessary? All athletes are already listed, with their sports, in the "Delegation" section
  •  Done. Removed.

Athletics

• I (and, I suspect, other readers) don't know what a "universality slot" is - would you be able to explain it briefly here without taking away from the American Samoa-specific focus of the article?
  •  Done
• Second sentence is very long
  •  Done
• "Crumpton had never competed in the 100 metres or any sprinting event" → "any sprinting event" covers the 100m, so you can remove "the 100 meters or"
  •  Done
• The last part of the last sentence in that para, starting "...with the only..." is a little awkwardly-worded tense-wise
  •  Done, replaced with "as his only"

Sailing

• "The pair" → this kind of comes out of nowhere, as it's not immediately obvious that we've moved focus from the boats to the sailors
  •  Done, replace with "Hoesch and Paige".

Swimming

• "The swimmers were the first American Samoan athletes to compete at these Games" → as above, this detail is not relevant to them specifically
  •  Done, removed.
• "against swimmers" → don't need to clarify that she was competing against swimmers in a swimming competition
•  Done
• Is it unusual for a men's heat to have three competitors but a women's heat to have eight?
  • It depends, actually. A heat can have up to ten competitors as there are ten lanes. Each person was probably put into those heats based on their rank.

Weightlifting

• "who would compete" → "who competed"
•  Done.
• "Jungblut is a returning Olympian" → change to past tense
•  Done.

That's all I've got on a first read-through, no rush in getting to these! PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:04, 24 June 2024 (UTC)

The only outstanding thing I can see is the sentence "After the last competitors for the nation participated...", which still reads oddly to me. Maybe begin the sentence saying no American Samoan athlete earned a medal at these games, and then mention that no competitor did so in a prior games, either. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 19:00, 1 July 2024 (UTC)