Talk:American Palestine Line/GA1
Latest comment: 15 years ago by GaryColemanFan in topic GA Review
GA Review
editI see very few problems with this article. It is verifiable, neutral, and stable. The breadth of coverage seems fine, and I don't believe there are any problems with the pictures. With that said, the captions of two of the pictures display the ship's name with a box after it. This may be because I am using the wrong browser or don't have the proper font enabled for it to display properly.
As for the quality of prose, it's very good. I have a few minor concerns:
- "Financial difficulties included unpaid bills and resultant court actions, and accusations of fraud against company officers that were leveled in the press." - There should not be a comma there; perhaps "Financial difficulties included unpaid bills and resultant court actions as well as accusations of fraud against company officers that were leveled in the press."
- "launched in September 1900 for the Hamburg America Line for use on that company's Far East passenger and mail service" - it would be best to avoid repeating "for"; could the first one be replaced with "by"?
- "Orthodox Rabbi Morris S. Margolies; David Yellin, Vice Mayor of Jerusalem, who addressed the crowd in Yiddish; Rabbi David de Sola Pool;[10] and Rabbi Stephen S. Wise." - Normally, semicolons aren't used for lists. It may be okay according to the Manual of Style. I'll see what I can find, but please let me know if you're aware of anything stating that semicolons in lists are fine. I wouldn't hold the article back from passing its review because of this, though.
- "The ship, with Stars of David painted on her funnels,[12] pulled away from the dock at eight minutes before noon, nearly an hour later than her planned departure time, headed to Haifa, with an intermediate stop in Naples." - this seems to be missing an "and" before "headed to Haifa".
- "Five American seamen were arrested and five of the Blackshirts had broken noses and black eyes; a further 15 Americans swam out to their steamer to avoid arrest." - this is grammatically correct; my preference would be "Five of the Blackshirts had broken noses and black eyes; five American seamen were arrested and a further 15 Americans swam out to their steamer to avoid arrest" in order to keep the discussion of the Americans together.
- "Only 500 well-wishers greeted the ship, arriving as it did on the Jewish sabbath, but President Arthur was greeted by the largest police detail in many years, because of rumors of a mutiny on board the ship" - no need for the comma.
- If you could just verify that it's my fault that the boxes appear in the image captions, I have no problem with them.
- Those were left over "thin space" characters that I'd used before to prevent the italics of the ship name from clashing with the possessive apostrophe. It seems to be a Mac only type of character and I thought I'd ridded the text of them before. They should be gone now. — Bellhalla (talk) 21:16, 8 July 2008 (UTC)
I will place this nomination on hold for up to 7 days to allow these to be dealt with. Please let me know if you need more time, and contact me on my talk page when you are finished. GaryColemanFan (talk) 20:51, 8 July 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for the quick reply (and the information on semicolon use). I'm satisfied with all of the fixes, and I think the article looks great. I am passing it as a GA and will have it listed shortly (within half an hour at the most). I'm reviewing articles to help cut down on the backlog at WP:GAN. If you could return th favor by reviewing an article, it would be greatly appreciated. If you need any information about reviewing articles, please ask me or visit Wikipedia:Reviewing good articles. Thanks, GaryColemanFan (talk) 23:23, 8 July 2008 (UTC)