Talk:Alva Lundin
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Untitled
editReady! You have made very good use of the sources you found for this article, utilizing the most pertinent information and presenting it in an interesting and informative way. The article is well written and keeps with what Wikipedia expects stylistically. I would recommend carefully rereading and editing your article for minor spelling or grammar mistakes. This will make your article even better as you move forward with the project. Good work!
Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
editThis article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): MrahGR. Peer reviewers: ThatWriterWithBangs.
Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 17:10, 17 January 2022 (UTC)
Peer Review / Article Feedback
editHello MrahGR, In the introduction, you link ‘title cards’ to the Wikipedia page on intertitles. Would it be easier to just use the word ‘intertitles’ or say ‘intertitles, formerly title cards’ within the piece? Also the third sentence in the lead paragraph is about title cards and not about Alva. I think that sentence might function better if moved to the career section.
Since you know her birth date, you could add her age when she passed away, moved to Stockholm, etc.
You refer to Alva’s education and work as “an unusual occurance” and “an anomaly”. This choice of language is somewhat vague and adds perspective as opposed to stating facts, which reduces the article’s neutrality. Perhaps ‘rare’ or ‘uncommon’ would be more effective and appropriate words?
All of your links work, but there is an error in your reference formatting, noted in red. Definitely fix that before the article goes live.
Great job! -ThatWriterWithBangs (talk) 20:00, 21 February 2018 (UTC)