Talk:All Hell Breaks Loose (Charmed)/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: PanagiotisZois (talk · contribs) 20:33, 29 August 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: FishLoveHam (talk · contribs) 20:23, 4 October 2024 (UTC)

Hi! I'll conduct this review FishLoveHam (talk) 20:23, 4 October 2024 (UTC)

Lead

• "The episode was originally broadcast in the United States on May 17, 2001, on The WB. Written by Brad Kern and directed by Shannen Doherty, "All Hell Breaks Loose" originally aired on The WB on May 17, 2001." Why is this information repeated?
• "of all time" sounds a little in-universe-y, maybe try "the show's most powerful witches" or something.
• "coming out into the public" clunky, reword.
• Remove the comma before "...when Prue and Piper are caught..." and replace "when" with "after".
• "among" → "one of".

Plot

• This plot section is very long for a TV episode, at over 800 words. Wikipedia suggests no more than 400 words for a singular television episode.
• "personal assassin" → "assassin"
• "find out more information" → "learn more"
• "vanquishing spell" → "a vanquishing spell".
• "At the news station, Elana (Mercedes Colón) shows her crew the footage Prue and Piper vanquishing Shax" missing "of".
• "He arrives at the manor, and tells them they could be arrested because they killed someone on live television." remove comma.
• "to figure out where Shax went" → "in search of Shax".
• "blows him up" reads informally.
• "Back at the manor" Remove, the previous sentence establishes they are there.
• Introduce Cole.
• "come after him" → "follow him".
• "wo secretly tells his hit-man" → "who secretly tells his hit-man".
• "the point" → "when".
• Remove the comma after "window".

Production

• Change the quote from "the rough cut for" to "the rough cut" for.
• "when" → "after".
• "lived" → "lives".
• "kill-off" → "kill off" (same with image caption)
• "gave everyone options about what they were or were not going to do" explain this a bit more.
• "not left" → "remained on".
• "in a different manner" → "differently".

Reception

• "prime time" → "prime-time".
• "time period" → "period" or "time".

References

• Ref 1 says "pp. 152–53" change to "pp. 152–153" for clarity.
• Sources are archived

Spot-check

• [1] Y
• [4] Y
• [6] a. Y b. Y c. Y
• [9] Y
• [11] Y
• [14] Y
• [16] Y
• [19] Y

Other

• Images: Y
• Broad & summary style: Overly long plot
• Neutral: Y
• No OR/COPYVIO: Y 18% Earwig
• Stable: Y

Progress

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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