Talk:Aliens of London/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 09:30, 4 April 2020 (UTC)

Comments

• "show Doctor Who that was first broadcast on 16 April 2005 on BBC One. Written by ..." I would split earlier: "show Doctor Who. First broadcast on 16 April 2005 on BBC One, it was written by ...."
• Probably needs to note it was the revival first season too. Some of us remember the originals (just....)
• No need to link "Earth", I think most of us know what that is.
• You have one ref in the lead, I would suggest leaving the lead unreferenced and make sure all the material in it is mentioned and referenced in the main part of the article.
• "Jones, played by Penelope Wilton who" comma after Wilton.
• " part Computer-generated imagery" no need for capital C.
• "by 7 million" seven.
• And I presume that means live, i.e. at the time of the original broadcast?
• Again, delink Earth.
• "twelve months after " don't need italics.
• Link Prime Minister appropriately (i.e. to the UK one) or not at all.
• Link TARDIS.
• "Guest Cast" -> "Guest cast"
• Probably use {{div col}} template here to reduce that whitespace near the guest cast.
• Quatermass -> the is lower case, and this should be in italics.
• " producer Russell T Davies" Davies is overlinked, and no need to introduce him again....
• Bob and Rose -> Bob & Rose.
• In Filming section, ROse needs disambiguation, but I think you've already linked it.
• Same for Matt Baker, but you haven't linked that one before.
• "Hospital.[11][10] " ref order.
• "from August 20th, 26th to 31st (except the 29th), September 1st to 3rd, and the 6th." probably too much detail, and we don't use "th", "st" etc on dates.
• "On October 4th the clip of Blue Peter presenter " 4 not 4th, and Blue Peter in italics.
• Link BBC Television Centre.
• "was watched by 7 million viewers in the UK, a" seven.
• "#2 for the timeslot" see MOS:HASH don't use # to denote "number".
• Broadcast and reception section, plenty of short paras in there, work them into more elegant prose.
• Why is Smith? The link just calls him Robert Smith.

That's it for a first run. On hold, cheers. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 20:36, 4 April 2020 (UTC)

All problems have been resolved except for the "Probably use div col template here to reduce that whitespace near the guest cast." I'm unfamiliar with this template so if it is to be implemented I am requesting help DMT biscuit (talk) 21:08, 4 April 2020 (UTC)

Looks like you've missed a few items, and introduced a few odd things, e.g. "along with ROae due to the"?? Could you mark off each comment individually? The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 09:17, 6 April 2020 (UTC)

DMT biscuit pinging. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 09:04, 8 April 2020 (UTC)

• "show Doctor Who that was first broadcast on 16 April 2005 on BBC One. Written by ..." I would split earlier: "show Doctor Who. First broadcast on 16 April 2005 on BBC One, it was written by ...."✓

• Probably needs to note it was the revival first season too. Some of us remember the originals (just....)✓
• No need to link "Earth", I think most of us know what that is.✓
• You have one ref in the lead, I would suggest leaving the lead unreferenced and make sure all the material in it is mentioned and referenced in the main part of the article.✓
• "Jones, played by Penelope Wilton who" comma after Wilton.✓
• " part Computer-generated imagery" no need for capital C.✓
• "by 7 million" seven.✓
• And I presume that means live, i.e. at the time of the original broadcast?✓
• Again, delink Earth.✓
• "twelve months after " don't need italics.✓
• Link Prime Minister appropriately (i.e. to the UK one) or not at all.✓
• Link TARDIS.✓
• "Guest Cast" -> "Guest cast"✓
• Probably use {{div col}} template here to reduce that whitespace near the guest cast.-Requesting help for this
• Quatermass -> the is lower case, and this should be in italics.✓
• " producer Russell T Davies" Davies is overlinked, and no need to introduce him again....✓
• Bob and Rose -> Bob & Rose.✓
• In Filming section, ROse needs disambiguation, but I think you've already linked it.✓
• Same for Matt Baker, but you haven't linked that one before.✓
• "Hospital.[11][10] " ref order.✓
• "from August 20th, 26th to 31st (except the 29th), September 1st to 3rd, and the 6th." probably too much detail, and we don't use "th", "st" etc on dates.✓
• "On October 4th the clip of Blue Peter presenter " 4 not 4th, and Blue Peter in italics.✓
• Link BBC Television Centre.✓
• "was watched by 7 million viewers in the UK, a" seven.✓
• "#2 for the timeslot" see MOS:HASH don't use # to denote "number".✓
• Broadcast and reception section, plenty of short paras in there, work them into more elegant prose.✓
• Why is Smith? The link just calls him Robert Smith.✓

DMT biscuit (talk) 09:22, 8 April 2020 (UTC)

The Rambling Man pinging.DMT biscuit (talk) 09:22, 8 April 2020 (UTC)

Okay, some more:

• Where is the production code referenced?
• You don't need to repeat the whole cast in the infobox.
• Murray Gold is mentioned in the infobox, not referenced or mentioned in the article.
• Likewise Mal Young.
• Collinson is linked in the infobox but not in the prose.
• What makes shannonsullivan.com a reliable source?
• Online references need publication/accessdates.
• "onto star in the spin off torchwood as Toshiko Sato[3]" --> "on to feature in the spin-off Torchwood as Toshiko Sato.[3]"

The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 10:46, 8 April 2020 (UTC)

DMT biscuit some more comments here. Please address each one individually, directly after each comment. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 15:26, 8 April 2020 (UTC)

• Where is the production code referenced?-What do you mean by this? are you asking for a source or requesting for it to be in the prose?

  Yes, at the very least a reference in the infobox. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 19:11, 8 April 2020 (UTC)

  Addressed DMT biscuit (talk) 19:50, 8 April 2020 (UTC)

• You don't need to repeat the whole cast in the infobox-addressed
• Murray Gold is mentioned in the infobox, not referenced or mentioned in the article. Likewise Mal Young.-Neither Mal Young or Murray gold are mentioned in the article simply because there's no reason to. Mal Young is mentioned in no articles for his time on the show and Murry gold is mentioned only irregular such as rose and the doctor dances.

  I'm not that interested in what happens in other articles. There's no reference for either of these and no mention in the article. They should be mentioned and referenced, regardless, because that's how good Wikipedia articles are written. 19:11, 8 April 2020 (UTC)

  Addressed DMT biscuit (talk) 19:50, 8 April 2020 (UTC)

• What makes shannonsullivan.com a reliable source?-At the bottom of all articles it cites its sources. The wikiproject for doctor who accourages users to use, therefore the consensus is that it is reliable.

  Good to know. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 19:11, 8 April 2020 (UTC)

• "onto star in the spin off torchwood as Toshiko Sato[3]" --> "on to feature in the spin-off Torchwood as Toshiko Sato.[3]"-Addressed

  You hadn't addressed this at all. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 11:16, 9 April 2020 (UTC)

i changed the wording per the request, how have i not addressed it? The Rambling Man

No you didn't, I did. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 12:10, 9 April 2020 (UTC)

DMT biscuit (talk) 11:43, 9 April 2020 (UTC)

The Rambling Man pinging.

DMT biscuit (talk) 19:06, 8 April 2020 (UTC)

DMT biscuit responded. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 19:11, 8 April 2020 (UTC)

The Rambling Man Responded DMT biscuit (talk) 19:50, 8 April 2020 (UTC)

I think we're just about there. I made a raft of changes for typos, poor formatting etc, which I hadn't seen previously, but it's satisfactory now I think. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 18:29, 9 April 2020 (UTC)