Talk:Ali Hewson/GA1

Latest comment: 11 years ago by Wasted Time R in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Lemurbaby (talk · contribs) 19:18, 18 January 2013 (UTC)Reply

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:  
    B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:  
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:  
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:  
    C. No original research:  
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:  
    B. Focused:  
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:  
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:  
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:  
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:  

Comments

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Prose:

  • In the lead: "Hewson has been mentioned as a possible Labour Party candidate for President of Ireland but no such attempt has been made." This would be better if it were rephrased in the active voice.
  • "She was especially set against the THORP component being opened." It would be good if you could rephrase this to give the reader a better sense of what this is without having to click the link.
    • I've expanded this out to Thermal Oxide Reprocessing Plant, clarified that it was under construction, and I've added a link in the sentence before for nuclear reprocessing. To try to explain here what nuclear reprocessing does seems out of scope. Wasted Time R (talk) 15:19, 19 January 2013 (UTC)Reply
  • "She was aware from the outset of her activities that her own wealth would make her vulnerable to "Ladies who lunch" remarks" - readers may not know what's meant by this type of remark. This sounds like something she may have stated herself, in which case I'd recommend simply including it as a direct quote in order to avoid adding interpretation in order to explain what's meant here.
  • Explain "abseil"
  • Explain BNFL
  • "Her only publicly known musical performance is a 2012 duet with her husband whilst taking on Lady Gaga's "Telephone" " - This is unclear for me - please rephrase

Nice work as always. I'm so glad for the work you and the other U2 Wikiproject members continue to put into these awesome articles. I just learned a lot, and that after being an enormous U2 fan for nearly 20 years. Lemurbaby (talk) 19:18, 18 January 2013 (UTC)Reply

Thanks very much for the review and the kind words. I didn't know most of this either until I started reading old newspaper articles. In addition to these responses, I also tweaked a few of your direct copyedits. I removed both my "less affluent" and your "working class" characterisation of Raheny, because looking over other sources I see conflicting portrayals of the town's socio-economic status. The article already describes her father as an electrician and her mother as a housewife who hoped her daughter would become a secretary, and I think that gets across the family's status. And I qualified the initial 'songs inspired by' language, because Stokes (the main source) usually doesn't claim certainty, including for "Another Time, Another Place". Wasted Time R (talk) 15:19, 19 January 2013 (UTC)Reply
Looks great! Definitely GA material. Congratulations on a well-researched article that no doubt required considerable scouring of sources. Lemurbaby (talk) 16:16, 19 January 2013 (UTC)Reply
Thanks again! Wasted Time R (talk) 00:38, 20 January 2013 (UTC)Reply