Talk:Alexandra Stan vs. Marcel Prodan/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 01:23, 2 January 2017 (UTC)

I will be getting to this very shortly. Carbrera (talk) 03:41, 8 January 2017 (UTC).

Carbrera Any updates on this? Cartoon network freak (talk) 13:18, 15 January 2017 (UTC)

Initial comments

• First off, usually articles are titled as such when there is a court case registered by the same name. I've checked the sources and I don't see anything flat-out that states Alexandra Stan v. Marcel Prodan; so I'd suggest renaming the article "Alexandra Stan and Marcel Prodan controversy" – I'd like to discuss this with you as I don't want you to change the title of the article without proper consensus

 Not done I suggest starting a discussion with other Wikipedians, as I am not sure as well.

• "Autostrada Soarelui" should link to "A2 motorway (Romania)" and not "A2 motorway"

 Done

• "Autostrade Soarelui" should not be italicized

 Done

• "was transported to hospital" --> "was transported to a hospital"

 Done

• "filled lawsuit" --> "filed a lawsuit"

 Done

• "making various public appearances" --> "making various public appearances regarding the issue"

 Done

• "wanted to commit suicide" --> "threatened to commit suicide" (I think this makes more sense)

 Done

• "with the single initially reaching number on" --> "with the single reaching number one on"

 Done

• "commercially acclaimed worldwide" --> "commercially successful elsewhere" (generally acclaim refers to critics and worldwide is used when it charted in all countries, so this is a more specific term)

 Done

• The photo link should link to "A2 motorway (Romania)" and not "A2 motorway"

 Done

• "Constanţa Country Police Department" should not be italicized

 Done

• "Autostrada Soarelui" should link to "A2 motorway (Romania)" and not "A2 motorway"

 Done

• "Traffic Police" should not be italicized

 Done

• "The singer had traces of violence and bruises on her face, with the police officers thus suggesting her to be carried to hospital and to fill a complaint against the aggressor" --> The first part of this sentence doesn't make sense; I'd suggest overall "The singer had visible evidence of physical assault, displaying bruises on her face, which prompted police officers to suggest that Stan be brought to a hospital and perhaps file a complaint against the aggressor"

 Done

• "Constanța County Emergency Hospital" should not be italicized

 Done

• "where she had been treated, however not requiring an admission" --> You change the word tense here

 Done

• Remove "city" before Medgidia

 Done

• "with her manager filling a first complaint for blackmail, which had been followed by another two for bodily injury and robbery." --> "and her filed a complaint for blackmail, followed by another two for bodily injury and robbery."

 Done

• "However, the latter" --> "However, the former" (you're referring to Prodan, not Stan it seems)

 Done

• "about the money" --> "about any money"

 Done

• "earned from concerts" --> "earned from her concerts"

 Done

• "When in hospital" --> "When at the hospital"

 Done

• "The singer subsequently appeared" --> "She also appeared"

 Done

• "thus leading to some believing it to be a publicity stunt." --> "thus leading some individuals to believe it was a publicity stunt."

 Done

• Title change: "Judges hearings and final decisions" --> "Judges' hearings and final decisions"

 Done

• Remove "judges" from the image alt and description

 Done

• Wait, is Stan the one in the black or the one with the jean jacket?

She's that one in black ;)

• "Prodan confessed that between Stan and him was "more than a professional relationship"" --> "Prodan confessed that Stan and him had "more than a professional relationship"

 Done

• "happening" --> "events"

 Done

• "mimed a swoon" --> I don't know what this means

She was acting like she is falling down on the floor...

• "Prodan self defensed" --> "Prodan acted in self-defense"

 Done

• "as the artist's accusations were not proofed, further stating that Stan was in fact" --> "as the artist's accusations could not be proven true, and Stan was in fact"

 Done

• "with its representatives filling lawsuit" --> Whose representatives?

the cub's representatives

• "filling lawsuit" --> "filing a lawsuit"

 Done

• "found place" --> "took place"

 Done

• "while Prodan's ex-wife and Nicolae Prodan were testified" --> "while Prodan's ex-wife Nicolae Prodan was testified"

No no... Nicolae is a boy's name and he's probably his friend, but we don't know it from the source. This is why I've wrote it this way.

• "Both said Prodan communicated to them following the violent incident, with them also confirming love between Stan and the latter, which the singer previously negated" --> Can you reword this entire sentence? I'm afraid I'm unsure regarding what you want to state here

 Done Better now?

• "material" --> What do you mean by this?

Material damage

• "it was announced that Prodan was sentenced to suspended" --> "it was announced that Prodan received a suspended sentence of"

 Done

• "euros remaining costs" --> "euros in remaining costs"

 Done

• "seven-month" --> "seven month"

 Done

• "with them threaten Prodan with death in the comments on her social media" --> "with them making death threats towards Prodan in the comments of her social media accounts"

 Done

• "the title of Stan's" --> "the title of Stan's single"

 Done

ON HOLD to address the above comments. I basically performed a copyedit here. Regards, Carbrera (talk) 16:45, 15 January 2017 (UTC).

Carbrera All done until now. I knew this would be a horrible read because I was not familiarized with those law terms in English, but anyway... . Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 19:40, 15 January 2017 (UTC)

Post-passage comment

Carbrera, I was surprised to see that you removed a copyedit template simply because a GA review was ongoing—that is not a valid reason—but very surprised that you passed the article when it has clear problems meeting the GA criteria. For example, one of the problematic sentences in the lead, However, the latter confessed that he only self defensed him after Stan hit her in his car and threatened to commit suicide., remains intact and fails GA standards from both a "clear and concise" standpoint and that of basic grammar. (Also, was this actually part of a confession or admission on his part?) I have reinstated the "copy edit" template I placed on the article earlier today, as the article clearly still needs a copy editor's attention.

This demonstrably not a Good Article at the present time. I am hoping you will reopen the review and not list it until the prose attains a GA level of quality. Thank you for your consideration. BlueMoonset (talk) 01:29, 16 January 2017 (UTC)

@BlueMoonset: I'm afraid that I did not remove the copyedit template and Cartoon network freak did with this edit. I'll look over this again as I did not view the "View history" tab during the review of this article, just the difference between revisions which didn't display your edit.Carbrera (talk) 01:35, 16 January 2017 (UTC)

Carbrera, I apologize for misidentifying you as the period who removed the copyedit template; it appears that Cartoon network freak believed that GA status meant that the article was clean, because that is of course what it should mean. Unfortunately, in this case it did not, and even after the two edits you made a few hours ago, the article needs quite a bit of work. BlueMoonset (talk) 05:16, 16 January 2017 (UTC)