Talk:Action of 31 March 1800
Latest comment: 14 years ago by Jackyd101 in topic GA Review
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GA Review
edit- This review is transcluded from Talk:Action of 31 March 1800/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Auntieruth55 (talk) 01:11, 27 January 2010 (UTC) In the next 24 hours, I'll post some comments for this review. Initially, it looks very interesting, and I'll be pleased to work on this project with you.
Preliminary comments:
- I corrected a typo in the lead.
- word choices are sometimes infelicitous Example,
- heading toward Egypt, not aiming
- abundance of verbs, helping verbs, and such tends to create moments of obfuscation. Can you be more direct? Example
- Pausing at Malta in June, soldiers were landed and the island seized, a sizeable French garrison retained at Valletta under General Claude-Henri Belgrand de Vaubois while the rest of the fleet sailed for Alexandria
- Pausing at Malta on ? Jne, French soldiers landed and seized the island. When the fleet sailed for Alexandria on ? June, Napoleon left a sizable French garrison at Valletta, under command of ....
- The landing in Egypt was successful, and while Bonaparte marched inland at the head of his army, the fleet was ordered to anchor in Aboukir Bay to support the troops ashore. There it was surprised on 1 August by a British fleet under Rear-Admiral Sir Horatio Nelson and almost completely destroyed.
- After the successful landing in Egypt, Bonaparte marched inland at the head of his army. The fleet anchored in Aboukir Bay to support the troops ashore. There it was surprised and destroyed on 1 August by a British fleet under Rear-Admiral Sir Horatio Nelson. Two ships of the line escaped and, accompanied by two frigates, returned to Malta.
I've gone through and boldly made some ce and tweaks, but I hope you'll go through it again. Auntieruth55 (talk) 18:08, 28 January 2010 (UTC)
These won't hold up the GA review, which I'll pass on later. Auntieruth55 (talk) 18:09, 28 January 2010 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose): b (MoS):
- a (prose): b (MoS):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
Thankyou very much for the review, I believe all of the comments above have now been addressed. Regards--Jackyd101 (talk) 01:59, 7 February 2010 (UTC)