Talk:A Golden Crown/GA1

Latest comment: 12 years ago by Jclemens in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Cerebellum (talk · contribs) 09:43, 2 December 2011 (UTC)Reply

Hello! I will be reviewing this article. --Cerebellum (talk) 09:43, 2 December 2011 (UTC)Reply

All right, this is a good start! Here are some issues that I notice:

Lead edit

  • What is a teleplay? If it's the same thing as a script, can you just say script instead?
  • You don't really need to use references in the lead per WP:LEADCITE - can you move the first citation down to the Writing section, and use it to cite the first sentence there?
  • None of the characters mentioned, in the lead or the body, are linked - can you add links for some of the most important ones?
  • Instead of quoting a review in the lead, could you just summarize the reception section and tell us what most reviewers thought of the episode? Change it to something like, "The episode was reviewed positively, with critics praising the acting and the episode's focus on the moral dilemmas associated with power."

Prose edit

  • Actually quite good! The writing quality is high.
  • In the Casting section, you use the term wildling without saying what a wildling is.
    • This has been addressed, adequately, I would hope. Jclemens (talk) 04:41, 14 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • The phrase "too young and hot" should be cited, since it is a direct quote.
    • Done. The citation was in the following sentence, FWIW. Jclemens (talk) 04:41, 14 December 2011 (UTC)Reply

Broadness of coverage edit

  • This article is actually a little lopsided. Look at Meet Kevin Johnson for an example of a well-balanced TV episode article. Specifically:
  • The plot summary makes up over half the article's body. Can you trim it down?
  • The production section should be expanded. Where was the episode filmed? Were there any guest actors? This article would benefit from more of this sort of out-of-universe information. Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things has about as much production info as plot info - can you do the same here?

Verifiability edit

I'm going to place this on hold for now. Right now it fails broadness of coverage and possibly verifiability. Still, I am confident that these issues can be corrected and this article can pass eventually. :) --Cerebellum (talk) 10:46, 2 December 2011 (UTC)Reply

Thanks for this. Due to spectacularly bad timing, I've still got another article in this series on hold, but I will try to address these over the next couple of days. I am going to be working 110 hours over the next 11 days, though, so my Wikipedia time will be somewhat more limited than normal. Jclemens (talk) 04:42, 6 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
FWIW, I now have my other GA review handled, so I will be able to devote more time to this one. Cheers, Jclemens (talk) 01:34, 12 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
Actually, in view of the work you've done already, I think that this article is up to GA standards now. I still have doubts on a couple of the references, but if they were good enough for the other reviewer they're good enough for me. Passing as GA. --Cerebellum (talk) 21:23, 14 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
Thank you very much. I will continue to improve this article and the others as I seek to get this whole season to a good topic. Jclemens (talk) 05:20, 15 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.