Talk:5th Pioneer Battalion (Australia)
Latest comment: 8 years ago by AustralianRupert in topic B-class review
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B-class review
editAustralianRupert there's a few points that may need addressing;
:The concept had existed within the British Indian Army before the war, but was adopted by the Australian Army in early 1916 to meet a need for troops with construction and engineering skills to assist with digging trenches, labouring, constructing strong points and battlefield clearance, at a time when the AIF was being reorganised as part of plans to transfer it from the Middle East to the Western Front in Europe.
- I have absolutely no idea what this sentence is trying to say.
- The battalion was formed from volunteers from the 5th Division's three infantry brigades – the 8th, 14th and 15th – who possessed various trades.
- Possessed various trades? I know what is meant to be conveyed here, it just reads weird. Instead of possessed perhaps "were of". Only a minor thing, keep it as possessed if you think it's clearer.
- By September, the pioneers were working to construct plank roads behind the lines around Zillebeke and Hooge in an effort to prepare for the coming offensive to make roads passable for artillery and supplies.
- Ordering is a bit odd here, I recommend a minor revision to say; By September, the pioneers were working to construct plank roads behind the lines around Zillebeke and Hooge to make the roads passable for artillery and supplies in an effort to prepare for the coming offensive.
- Alternatively; By September, the pioneers were working to make the roads behind Zillebeke and Hooge passable for artillery and supplies in an effort to prepare for the coming offensive.
- Ordering is a bit odd here, I recommend a minor revision to say; By September, the pioneers were working to construct plank roads behind the lines around Zillebeke and Hooge to make the roads passable for artillery and supplies in an effort to prepare for the coming offensive.
- During the Second Battle of Villers-Bretonneux, during mid-April elements of the battalion were subjected to a gas attack while guarding road-mines around the village.
- Weirdly written, during [a battle] during [a month]. Perhaps revise to; In mid April, during the the Second Battle of Villers-Bretonneux, elements of the battalion were subjected to a gas attack whilst guarding road-mines around the village.
- defensive switch
- Not sure, but defensive ditch? what is a defensive switch?
- In single day
- In a single day
Slowly personnel werePersonnel were slowly
Just a few points that I think need addressing (a couple are minor nitpicks), otherwise it's a B-class. Mr rnddude (talk) 12:50, 23 July 2016 (UTC)
- Excellent all points have been addressed, thanks AustralianRupert, I will be updating to B-class shortly. Mr rnddude (talk) 13:41, 23 July 2016 (UTC)
- G'day, thanks for these suggestions, all excellent points. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 13:44, 23 July 2016 (UTC)