Talk:2016 Macau Grand Prix/GA1

Latest comment: 6 years ago by MWright96 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Harrias (talk · contribs) 19:44, 13 November 2017 (UTC)Reply


Lead
  • "It was the first time the race was held under its formal name, the FIA F3 World Cup.." This is a tad confusing. Do you mean it was the first time it had this formal name, or that it had had it before, but just hadn't been known as that?
  • "..in the main event but lost the lead to his fast-starting teammate.." Could do with tightening a bit for clarity: "..in the main event, but he lost the lead to his fast-starting teammate..
  • "..before a safety car period neutralised the race and retook first from Sette Cãmara at the lap-seven restart." This time it might be worth splitting the sentence into two smaller ones: "..before a safety car period neutralised the race. At the lap-seven restart, Félix da Costa retook first from Sette Cãmara."
  • Similar again: "..reduced to nothing and fended off an overtaking manoeuvre.." Switch to "..reduced to nothing, and he fended off an overtaking manoeuvre..
  • "Rosenqvist overtook Sette Cãmara for second and was unable to draw close enough.." It might work better to switch "and" out for "but" here?
Background
Practice and qualifying
Qualification race
Main race
Results

Nice work as usual, with just a few prose copy-edits needed. Harrias talk 19:44, 13 November 2017 (UTC)Reply

@Harrias: Okay, that should be all of the points addressed. MWright96 (talk) 21:38, 13 November 2017 (UTC)Reply