Talk:2014 Italian Grand Prix/GA1

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Mike Christie in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 14:15, 18 February 2018 (UTC)Reply

I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 14:15, 18 February 2018 (UTC)Reply

I'll copyedit as I go through; please revert any mistakes.

  • both drivers were obligated the interests of the entire team: looks like a missing word?
  • Hamilton said his objective for the Monza weekend was to regain some of the lost ground in the Drivers' Championship and would not cede the challenge: same again; perhaps "and that he would not"?
  • no space was available to feign an passing manoeuvre: "feign" means to pretend to do or be something; I assume that's not the intended meaning here. How about "attempt"?
  • Magnussen feigned a passing manoeuvre: same again; and there's another use further down.
  • to remain at least two and a half seconds behind teammate Rosberg to gain the slipstream advantage without losing downforce: I don't follow the reference to slipstream advantage. I assume slipstream advantage is essentially drafting? Two and a half seconds is too far back to gain any drafting benefit. What am I missing?
    • Removed the slipstream portion of the sentence since it is not stated in the source provided. MWright96 (talk) 09:49, 19 February 2018 (UTC)Reply
  • and in his attempt to conserve his rear tyre life by moving his brake bias towards the front of his car, he compromised his brakes as a result: "in his attempt" is redundant with "as a result"; I'd cut the latter.
  • with Vettel defending fifth place but was slow leaving the turn: I don't know who was slow leaving the turn: Vettel or Ricciardo?
  • Why was Rosberg booed? From the following paragraphs I'm guessing it was because fans thought he deliberately let Hamilton past him. Or do the sources not say why he was booed?
    • It was for his clash with Hamilton at Belgium the week prior. MWright96 (talk) 09:49, 19 February 2018 (UTC)Reply
  • stated the transmission of pit-to-car radio about Hamilton reducing his pace to conserve tyre life for a late race attack did not indicate the whole perception: I don't understand this.
  • prompting to Alonso reduce his speed which at that point his car problem emerged: "which at that point" needs reworking; this isn't grammatical.

-- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 15:49, 18 February 2018 (UTC)Reply

Just one use of "feign" left to change; everything else looks good. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:00, 19 February 2018 (UTC)Reply
@Mike Christie: Your final point has been addressed. MWright96 (talk) 13:47, 19 February 2018 (UTC)Reply
Looks good; promoting. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 22:56, 19 February 2018 (UTC)Reply