Talk:2011 Gatorade Duels/GA1
Latest comment: 6 years ago by MWright96 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Harrias (talk · contribs) 14:45, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
- Lead
- "However, by the end of the lap Menard became the leader." Full name and wikilink for Menard on this first mention please.
- "At the restart, Kenseth was the leader.." Same as above.
- "record-braking" Wrong spelling of breaking!
- Fixed that typo MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
- Background
- "In the early years, qualifying had varying formats..." Clarify earlier that you are referring to Qualifying for the Daytona 500, not qualifying for the Gatorade Duels.
- Clarified that statement MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
- Start of the final paragraph: "he top 35 drivers" Missing a letter at the start.
- "based upon their qualifying positions in the Daytona 500." But I thought these races were the qualifying for the Daytona 500? Should this say "in the previous year's Daytona 500"?
- Yes. Should have noticed that error at the time. Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
- "Drivers who qualified in odd-number positions competed in the first Duel along with the winner of the 2012 Daytona 500 pole." This is talking about a 2011 race, so I assume talking about the 2012 Daytona 500 pole is a mistake? 2010 maybe?
- We are taking about the 2011 race so that sentence has been changed to reflect that fact. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
- "Positions 40 to 42 were filled with the quickest drivers who did not qualify in the top 35, apart from 43rd"... Why "apart from"? 43rd isn't including in the range 40 to 42?
- Changed. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
- "Two drivers outside the top 35 were eligible for two transfer spots in each Duel." I don't know what this means.
- Have worded that statement. Hopefully it is somewhat easier to understand. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
- Practice and qualifying
- "two practice sessions to practice for the race" Very quick repetition of "practice", can one be substituted for something else maybe? Especially as "practice session" is then used in both the following sentences.
- Reworded sentence MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
- "second lasted 55 minutes long after rain delays" The word "long" probably isn't needed.
- Removed "long" MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
- Races
- "The qualifying races for the 2011 Daytona 500 began at 2:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time and was televised live" As you say "qualifying races" (plural) this should then say "and were televised", rather than "was".
- "Next, Johnny Mayo, performed the national anthem." No comma needed after Johnny Mayo.
- Who or what are "Children of Ed Shull"?
- He was a sports marketer who passed away before the race. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
- "Johnson, after changing their engine" Johnson is just one person, so this should be "his engine".
- "and teammate Earnhardt, who had to move to a back-up car had to fall behind" Needs a comma after "car".
- "but on the same lap Menard, with assistance from Martin, passed him." How did Martin give him assistance? This isn't explained.
- Martin pushed Menard from behind MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
- "switched the first position in between them." No need for "in", that changes the meaning.
- "green flag pit stops" This needs explaining.
- Wikilinked MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
- "most of the drivers participating in the race pitted for fuel." Obviously those not competing in the race wouldn't pit for fuel, so I think this can be cut down.
- Reworded MWright96 (talk) 21:22, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
Reviewed to the end of Race 1; more to follow. Harrias talk 14:45, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
- "because Casey Mears' engine failed" You've linked Casey Mears here, but it should be the mention a couple of sentences earlier.
- "as Trevor Bayne moved up to second." Is there a reason for using his full name here?
- There is no reason. Only his surname is now used in this instance. MWright96 (talk) 21:22, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
- "record-braking total of 22 lead changes among seven different drivers and had five caution periods." Is that a record for this particular race, or for all races? Was is just to that point, or an all-time record? Clarify if possible.
- Clarified to say it was specific to the Gatorade Duels. MWright96 (talk) 21:22, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
- There's an odd gap before the Post-race section, maybe an extra line that shouldn't be there?
- Post-race
- "It's the Double Deuce power right now." What purpose does this quote serve? I don't understand the relevance of it: what is "double deuce" (other than possibly the second time a tennis match is tied 40 all?!)
- Removed this quote MWright96 (talk) 21:22, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
- "Also by winning the race.." This comes right after the bit talking about Smith, but I assume it refers to Busch?
- Yes it does. Have clarified it was Kurt Busch and moved the sentence to after his quote. MWright96 (talk) 21:22, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
- "The first event took 58 minutes and 12 seconds to compete" This should be "complete" rather than "compete".
- Burton's quote here is probably longer than fair use really allows unless there's a very good reason to use so much. I'd recommend cutting it down.
- Results
- Is there a good reason not to make the qualifying table sortable? It would seem to benefit from it. (Being able to sort by name, to quickly find a driver, or by team, or manufacturer.)
- Qualifying table has been made sortable. MWright96 (talk) 06:50, 8 November 2017 (UTC)
- I would be tempted personally to split the tables so that there are separate ones side-by-side for Races 1 and 2, but I wouldn't insist on something like that at GA.
- All the sources can be listed in one row at the bottom, there is no need for two separate rows. (Applies to both tables.)
- The sortable tables need to sort by driver surname (use {{sortname}}.)
@MWright96: Overall, this is a really good piece of work, and everything I have found has basically been me nit-picking. Given your quick response earlier, I won't bother putting this on hold unless you don't get to it in the next day or so, as I think we'll have this one sorted pretty quickly. Harrias talk 20:57, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
- @Harrias: Everything that needed addressing has been taken care of except for the splitting of the tables. MWright96 (talk) 06:50, 8 November 2017 (UTC)