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Talk:2009 World Cup of Pool/GA1

< Talk:2009 World Cup of Pool
Latest comment: 4 years ago by MWright96 in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

Latest comment: 4 years ago43 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 08:12, 22 April 2020 (UTC)Reply

Shall be reviewing this article as part of the GAN Backlog Drive of April to May 2020. MWright96 (talk) 08:12, 22 April 2020 (UTC)Reply

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  

Infobox edit

  • The tournament name should be mentioned in the name= field of the infobox

Lead edit

  • "was a professional pool tournament played in the discipline of nine-ball. The event was the fourth World Cup of Pool, a scotch doubles knockout championship representing 32 national teams." - how about merging these two sentences together and making them more concise?
    • It's actually already quite a long sentence. My only suggestion would be to change it to:
    • But, I find that to be quite long. I do prefer to state we are talking about pool, and then that it's nine-ball, as they aren't the same thing. Let me know your thoughts Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:37, 27 April 2020 (UTC).Reply
  • "The Korean team of Ga Young Kim and Yun Mi Lim were the first all-female team" - repetition of the word "team"
  • Delink the dollar sign
    • Yeah, I didn't know this was a thing. I get confused as to why we do this, considering the symbol is used for many different currencies, yet the £ which we should link isn't used for very much. Unlinked. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:37, 27 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "The USA team were defeated in the quarter-finals by the Chinese pair Fu Jian-bo and Li He-wen 5–9." - Chinese pair of
  • "The event was won by the Filipino team of Francisco Bustamante and Efren Reyes, who defeated the German team" - repetition of the word "team"

Tournament format edit

  • "The 2009 World Cup of Pool was a pairs nine-ball tournament played at the the Annex of SM City North EDSA in Quezon City," - stray "the" is unneeded
  • "in the final of the previous year's event." - how about 2008 event.
  • "The tournament was broadcast as 31 one-hour episodes also produced by Matchroom.[8] Locally, the event was broadcast live on Solar Sports and CS9.[9]" - how about The tournament was broadcast live locally on Solar Sports and CS9, and 31 one-hour episode were produced by Matchroom Sport.[8][9]

Prize fund edit

  • "This was similar to that of the previous year's event." - the text in bold is overlinked
  • "Money earned was shared between the players." - Money earned by the team was shared between their players.

Teams edit

  • "with 31 countries participating, two teams representing the host nation Philippines." - and two teams
  • "An all female team," - all-female

Early rounds edit

  • "The opening match of the tournament featured" - saw
  • "featured the French team of Stephan Cohen and Vincent Facquet win 8–1 over the Canadian team." - French pair of Stephan Cohen and Vincent Facquet take a 8–1 victory over the Canadian team.
  • "allowed USA to win 8–7." - allowed the USA
  • "The defending champion USA team of Rodney Morris and Shane Van Boening met the Maltese team of Alex Borg and Tony Drago in the opening match." - more repetition of the word "team"
  • "The unseeded Indonesian team won their opening round match over the Indian team" - repetition of the word "team"
  • "An all-female team competed for the first time at the event, with the Korean team of Ga Young Kim and Yun Mi Lim." - repetition of the word "team"
  • "The pair lead 3–0 before being defeated 5–8" - led
  • "who won six racks in-a-row.[19][15]" - refs in numerical order please
  • "Japan were trailing at 3–6 behind in their match against Croatia," - remove the word in bold
  • "The team defeated the Hong Kong team" - more close repetition of the word "team"
  • "The finish team won 8–3 over" - typo; should be Finnish
  • Also, for the above sentence, it would be benefical to mention the Finnish players by name
  • "Kenny Kwok and Lee Chenman in a whitewash 8–0." - the words in bold should be the other way round
  • "when referee Cielo Lopez deemed Bruno Muratore's arm had struck the cue ball." - how about expand that it was Muratore's left arm that was deemed to have struck the cue ball
  • "The Philippine A side of Orcollo and Alcano won eight straight racks after trailing 0–3 to the Russian side to win 8–3." - repetition of the word "side"
  • "but missed some "crucial shots" during the match." - according to whom?
    • Hmm, the only info I have is that Matchroom Sport published the report. I'll see if I can dig up an author of the original piece Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 10:09, 29 April 2020 (UTC)Reply

Later rounds (quarter-final—final) edit

  • "The quarter-finals were all played on 5 September and as a race-to-nine racks." - the word in bold is unneeded
  • "defeating the Netherlands team Niels Feijen and Nick van den Berg 9–7." - duo of
  • "the Chinese and Filipino teams were at hill-hill 8—8." - the em dash should be replaced by an en dash (–) per MOS:DASH
  • "The Philipino team won the next rack to win the tournament winning 11–9." - win the match 11–9 and the tournament.

Images edit

References edit

  • Those references that are missing the dates of publication should be included
  • The archive link for Reference 2 needs fixing
    • Ive just removed it. Wayback machine and webmedic are not accessible for my browser currently, so I'll have to look into that later. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:55, 27 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • References 7 and 10 are the same
  • Reference 19's publisher should be the work instead
  • References 31, 32, 35 and 36 are missing their respective works

Am going to put the article on hold to allow the nominator to address/query the points raised above. MWright96 (talk) 09:53, 22 April 2020 (UTC)Reply

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