Talk:2/17th Battalion (Australia)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Anotherclown (talk · contribs) 23:54, 24 December 2015 (UTC)

Progression

• Version of the article when originally reviewed: [1]
• Version of the article when review was closed: [2]

Technical review

• Citations: The Citation Check tool reveals no issues with reference consolidation (no action req'd)
• Disambiguations: no dab links [3] (no action req'd).
• Linkrot: no dead links [4] (no action req'd)
• Alt text: images have alt text [5] (no action req'd).
• Copyright violations: The Earwig Tool reveals no issues with copyright violations or close paraphrasing (seems to be picking up combinations of proper nouns and common words which cannot be avoided) [6] (no action req'd).
• Duplicate links: no duplicate links to be removed (no action req'd).

Criteria

• It is reasonably well written.

  a (prose): b (MoS):

  • Fairly long sentence here: " Raised in April 1940 in New South Wales, the unit saw service in the Middle East in 1941–42, taking part in the fighting at Tobruk and El Alamein – with their involvement in these actions being punctuated by a period of garrison duty in Syria – before returning to Australia early in 1943 as the Australian Army's combat divisions were refocused on the Pacific theatre to fight the Japanese." Perhaps split (maybe after El Alamein)?
  • Prose is a little repetitive here: "as part of efforts to capture Lae in September, before participating in efforts..." (efforts twice in close proximity) Perhaps reword one?
  • Typo here? "the 2/13th was formed around a nucleus of four rifle...", I assume it should be "2/17th".
  • " although a border of gray was added to the border...", this is a bit redundant consider instead just: " although a border of gray was added..."
  • "The 2/17th fell back as part of this general retreat..." consider instead: "The 2/17th fell back as part of the general retreat..."
  • Awkward prose here: "...was later awarded the Victoria Cross, the nation's highest military decoration, posthumously...", consider instead something like: "was later posthumously awarded the Victoria Cross, the nation's highest military decoration."
  • "Following their relief from Tobruk by units from the British 70th Division..." → "Following their relief from Tobruk by units of the British 70th Division..."
  • "... the 2/17th Battalion was moved to Palestine...", move wikilink on Palestine to first instance of its use further above.
  • Is there a typo here: "On 22 September, the battalion landed at Scarlet Beach on and..." (Specifically the "on" in "Beach on and")?
  • Perhaps wikilink "occupation of Japan"
    •  Done

• It is factually accurate and verifiable.

  a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

  • The article is well referenced to WP:RS and seems to reflect the sources available.
  • No issues with OR I could see.

• It is broad in its coverage.

  a (major aspects): b (focused):

  • Most major aspects of the topic seem to be sufficiently covered. There are a few things to should probably be added though:
    • The Bn departed Sydney on 20 Oct 40 aboard the Queen Mary (see Bn history, p. 8)
    • The Bn history (pp. 12-13) includes the structure of the Bn in Nov 40 as standard Bn HQ, HQ Coy (of six specialist Pls), and four rifle Coys (A, B, C & D). This might be included.
    • The Bn embarked upon Aquitania to return to Australia on 27 Jan 43, returning in convoy with Ile de France, Nieuw Amsterdam, the armed merchant cruiser Queen of Bermuda, escorted by HMS Devonshire and several destroyers. (pp. 186-187)
    • "In early 1943, the battalion was brought back to Australia..." You should probably make it clear that this occurred along with the rest of the 9th Div. Also you might consider wikilinking Operation Pamphlet here also.
    • The summary of each campaign doesn't always include the Bn's casualties during there involvement. This information is available in Johnston 2002 and is as fols (the 2nd Alamein figures seem to differ very slightly from the Bn history):
      • Tobruk (inc Benghazi Handicap): 26 KIA, 14 DOW, 2 DOAS, 127 WIA, 14 POW (p. 248)
      • Alamein (7 Jul to 22 Oct 42): 2 KIA, 1 DOW, 1 DOAS, 27 WIA, 0 POW (p. 248)
      • Alamein (23 Oct to 5 Nov 42): 40 KIA, 20 WIA, 0 DOAS, 203 WIA and 4 POW (p. 249)
      • New Guinea: 53 KIA, 10 DOW, 5 DOAS, 160 WIA, 0 POW (p. 249)
      • Borneo: 7 KIA, 2 DOW, 1 DOAS, 15 WIA, 0 POW (p. 250)
    • Perhaps include something on the Bn's activities in Australia in 1944-45? According to the Bn history the battalion reformed at Ravenshoe on the Atherton Tablelands in May 1944 (p. 284) where they conducted individual and collective training to battalion level (p. 285), moved to Trinity Beach near Cairns in Sept 1944 for training in amphibious operations which continued in Oct and Nov (p. 285), reduced training activity and many sporting activities in Dec 44 and Jan 45 followed by small leave drafts in Feb and Mar and then further bn level training (p. 286), the Bn departed Townsville aboard the David C. Shanks on 6 May bound for Moratai (p. 288)
    • Perhaps mention the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
  • Article is focused, using an effective summary style without going into too much detail.
    •  Done

• It follows the neutral point of view policy.

  a (fair representation): b (all significant views):

  • No issues here.

• It is stable.

  No edit wars etc.:

  • No issues here.

• It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.

  a (tagged and captioned): b (Is illustrated with appropriate images): c (non-free images have fair use rationales): d public domain pictures appropriately demonstrate why they are public domain:

  • All images seem to be free / PD.
  • File:Destroyed Panzer III near Tobruk 1941.jpg and File:John Edmondson 010576.JPG probably needs some sort of PD-US tag
    • Added. AustralianRupert (talk) 23:04, 27 December 2015 (UTC)
  • Captions look fine.
    •  Done

• Overall:

  a Pass/Fail:

  • Looking good so far but probably needs a bit more to meet the coverage requirements as suggested above, also a few minor prose issues. Pls let me know if you need me to look up anything else from Johnston or the Bn history to assist in this. Anotherclown (talk) 08:10, 27 December 2015 (UTC)
    • Thanks for these comments, I think I have dealt with everything. These are my changes: [7]. Please let me know if you think it needs more work. I really appreciate the thoroughness of your review. Cheers, AustralianRupert (talk) 23:04, 27 December 2015 (UTC)
      • No problem, those changes look good to me. Passing now. Anotherclown (talk) 04:12, 28 December 2015 (UTC)