Talk:1990 Toledo Rockets football team/GA1

Latest comment: 10 years ago by Wizardman in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Neonblak (talk · contribs) 17:42, 7 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

I will be conducting a review of this article, should be completed within the next couple of days, but hopefully I can have it up sooner if time permits.Neonblak talk - 17:42, 7 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
  1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct. All concerns were addressed below
  1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
  2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
  2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose). Random reference checks yielded no issues.
  2c. it contains no original research.
3. Broad in its coverage:
  3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
  3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
  4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
  5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
  6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content. One photo of Nick Saban added, and it is used correctly.
  6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
  7. Overall assessment. A well-written article, and all concerns have been addressed. This article now meets all GA standards.

Before the season

  • "By mid-December, the finalists for the Rockets' head coaching position was narrowed to Pete Cordelli (then the quarterback coach at Notre Dame) and Nick Saban (then the secondary coach for the Houston Oilers)." - the word was after position should be were to compliment finalists. Paraphrasing - The finalists were narrowed to...
  • "On December 22, 1989, Bohl announced the Saban..." - Bohl announced that Saban...

Schedule

  • Shouldn't Toledo's schedule and results be cited here?

Miami

  • "Rusty Hanna then has his extra point attempt blocked..." - Hanna then had his extra...

Northern Illinois

  • "In the first home game of the 1990 season, Toledo defeated..." - Should be "In their first home game..." due the word's relationship to the group word "Toledo".

Eastern Michigan

  • "The Hurons scored on an 85-yard Craig Thompson punt return and a 36-yard Jim Langeloh field goal;" - needing a comma after the word "return".
  • "In the third, Eastern cut the lead to 20–17..." - Eastern Michigan
  • "The Hurons did score once again late in the game..." - The Hurons scored once again (or more)...

Bowling Green

  • "and the Rockets would come back to win 19–13." - Rockets came back...
  • "Points were scored in the third on a seven-yard Kevin Meger touchdown run and on a one-yard Troy Parker touchdown and Hanna field goal in the fourth." - Run on. Maybe start the sentence with "Points were scored in the third on a seven-yard touchdown by Kevin Meger and a one-yard Troy parker run. Hanna added a field goal in the fourth."

Central Michigan

  • "At Mount Pleasant, the Rockets suffered their first loss of the season in their 13–12 defeat that did not feature a single touchdown." - Misleading. Maybe this is better? "At Mount Pleasant, the Rockets failed to score a touchdown and suffered a 13–12 defeat to the Chippewas, their first loss of the season."
  • "For his six tackle performance..." - Hyphenate "six tackle".

Kent State

  • "A second, 35-yard field goal cut the Kent lead to 14–13,..." - Kent State
  • "Touchdowns wee scored by..." - wee = were

Western Michigan

  • "...Rickey Isaiah for the Rockets and Dan Boggan scored..." - needs a comma after Rockets
  • Same thing after "a 14-yard Meger run"

Navy

  • Same thing after "on a 34-yard Rusty Hanna field goal in the first"
  • "Navy came back to with the game..." win the game

Arkansas State

  • "In the second quarter Trotter scored on a two-yard run and Mabone on a one-yard run before a 38-yard Kevin Meger touchdown pass to Rickey Isaiah and 33-yard Rusty Hanna field goal gave the Rockets a 24–14 halftime lead." - Too much crammed into one sentence, maybe this sounds better? "In the second quarter, Trotter scored on a two-yard run and Mabone added another from the one yard line. Kevin Meger threw a 38-yard touchdown pass to Rickey Isaiah, and Rusty Hanna made a 33-yard field goal to give the Rockets a 24–14 halftime lead."
  • "The nine wins were the most won by a Toledo squad since the 1983 season." - win/won conflict - I think just removing the word won works, or include an addition word like "tallied".

Saban resignation

  • "The reason his resignation came so long after the conclusion of the season was because Belichick did not work to assemble his staff until after he coached in Super Bowl XXV as defensive coordinator for the New York Giants." - another wordy sentence: "As defensive coordinator for the New York Giants, Belichick had to postpone assembling his new coaching staff until after Super Bowl XXV. Therefore, Saban's resignation wasn't announced until well after the season had ended."
Thank you for heads up, I have infinite patience due to being very busy this week. I have my own review fixes to make, as well as finishing another review I started.Neonblak talk - 17:18, 16 October 2014 (UTC)Reply
Issues now fixed. Only one I didn't modify was the schedule note; the scores and attendance is sourced in each section in the box, rather than above. Wizardman 15:05, 18 October 2014 (UTC)Reply