Talk:1984 World Snooker Championship/GA1

Latest comment: 4 years ago by The Rambling Man in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 08:04, 9 April 2020 (UTC)Reply


Comments

  • "The event was organised by the World Professional Billiards and Snooker Association (" ref?
  • "Redwood Lodge, Bristol from " comma after Bristol.
  • "78 players; 16 of these players reached the main stage, where they met the 16 invited seeded players" players x 3, reword to avoid the rapid repitition.
  • "the highest prize pool" repetitive.
  • "The event featured 94 participants." strangely positioned - two sentences ago you noted 78 qualifiers and 16 pre-qualified, so there would probably have been the apt moment to note "totalling 94" or similar.
  • "Davis met countryman" -> "He met..."
  • "the match, but the match " repetitive.
  • " scored the championship's highest break, scoring " repetitive.
  • "A total of eight" -> "Eight"
  • "broadcast by BBC and ITV." in the UK. Was it not broadcast anywhere else on the planet?
    • I have no sourcing for other broadcasts. BennyOnTheLoose may have additional sourcing. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 07:55, 14 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
      • I've also drawn a blank on international TV coverage of this tournament. In Snooker: The Records (1985), Clive Everton says "Countries like Australia, New Zealand and Canada are well aware of snooker's British television success story but have themselves proceeded cautiously in attempting to repeat it" and mentions "Thailand, who buys miles of BBC snooker footage." BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 13:29, 14 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
        • Shame. I didn't think it had too much coverage. I'd assume Eurosport covered it, but I can't find anything specifically stating it either. Might have to live with it at just those two. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 14:02, 14 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "the 1984-85 snooker season " en-dash.
  • "Alex Higgins provided" link Higgins.
  • "Redwood Lodge, Bristol between " it feels like the third time you've told me this.
  • "78 players.[7][8] The qualifying event ran from " -> "78 players from"
  • "20[12] also" comma after 20.
  • "Former eight-time world champion" hmm, never like these... perhaps "Eight-time former world champion"?
  • Marcel Gauvreau, Bill Werbeniuk, Eddie Charlton, John Parrott, Fred Davis and Mario Morra all overlinked in First round section.
  • " the top-16, to" no need to hyphenate.
  • "Willie Thorne also [20] Virgo's " something's missing.
  • " Alex Higgins" should have been linked before this (see above).
  • "surprise defeat of Davis in the first round " -> "surprise win in the first round" (you've already said it was a Davis defeat).
  • "having a fine of £5,000 imposed " -> "being fined £5,000"
  • "of 138 the highest break" -> "of 138, the highest break"
  • "taking 10 hours and 10 minutes of playing time" is this significant? You don't mention other match durations.
    • Reworded. I'm not sure it is. BennyOnTheLoose - what does the source actually say? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 08:02, 14 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
      • I think this can be omitted. The Times says "Steve Davis, the title holder, took 10 hours and 10 minutes of playing time to beat Terry Griffiths" and that they "toiled in tranquillity." The implication is that it was a slow match, but Snooker Scene for June 1984 doesn't emphasise this, just saying "the whole match was played to a very tight technical pattern." BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 13:29, 14 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
      • I'll change. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 14:02, 14 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "some cheese and tomato sandwiches" too much information?
    • Maybe? It's quite interesting that he attributed it to food poisoning in my eyes. I'll change to just sandwich. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 08:02, 14 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "beat Stevens 16–14[37] to become" move the ref to the end.
  • "match played between " no need for played.
  • "Davis dominated the first session to lead 6–1 against Jimmy White," don't need "against Jimmy White" as you just told us who he was playing.
  • "the last session" final session.
  • "The win was Davis' third ..." win win won. In one sentence.
  • Higgins and world rankings overlinked.
  • "7th" -> seventh.
  • "Steve Davis won " (pictured in xxxx)? He didn't look like that in 1984.
  • Could mention Jim Thorpe in the prose as the ref for the final.
  • 1978, Rex Williams and Jim Donnelly overlinked in the Century breaks section.
  • What makes ref 22 RS?
    • It's the archive for Chris Turner's statistics (now a deadlink sadly). Turner is the only snooker historian that's well respected outside Clive Everton. Here is him writing for Eurosport, for example. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 08:13, 14 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
      • In a short Obituary in Snooker Scene for December 2011 (edited by Everton), it says that Turner "collated billiards and snooker statistics for many years and ran a very useful website … in which key facts and figures were recorded." (I'd add a couple of others to my list of respected historians, but would definitely include Turner.) BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 13:29, 14 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "The Guardian and The Observer" these should be in italics.
  • Ref 7, is it really formatted as small w for where and big M for Money?

That's it for now, so it's on hold. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 16:12, 9 April 2020 (UTC)Reply

Lee Vilenski hi, any chance you'll address these soon? I'm running quite a hard/fast seven day rule these days. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 07:34, 14 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
Apologies. It slipped my mind (that's what happens when you get all these noms at the same time, I suppose). I'll take a look in a mo. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 07:35, 14 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
That should cover it The Rambling Man, apart from the two sourcing issues I'll raise with Benny (I don't even know where to start with the sourcing for this sort of thing (offline), so Benny deserves most of the credit for this article. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 08:34, 14 April 2020 (UTC)Reply

Good work both. I'm happy to promote this now. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 14:28, 14 April 2020 (UTC)Reply