Talk:1949 Sun Bowl controversy/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Secret (talk · contribs) 20:04, 25 March 2014 (UTC)

I'll review this class project within the next few days. I do got a history degree and I'm familiar with race relations in sports, being the subject of my senior thesis. Welcome to Wikipedia all of you and I hope you decide to stay after this article is done, I'll be willing to help out any of you guys! Thanks Secret ^account 20:04, 25 March 2014 (UTC)

'm failing this article as the prose isn't GA quality and I got some problems with the sources.

• "under the condition that the African American player, David Showell, would not play" grammar, "the" should be an

Disagree; there was exactly one, and "the" seems correct here. Dicklyon (talk) 21:03, 1 April 2014 (UTC)

• "Lafayette needed to win more games in order to achieve a bowl bid." How many more games, and bowl bids back then were because of popularity not committee, so I recommend to source or remove that sentence.
• "capping off the regular season with a record of 7 wins and 2 losses." Remove the second mention of the record, finish the sentence off with ..."capping off the regular season".
• How can a source whose year states it comes from 1945 source a paragraph of an event happening in 1946? There must be some error there, fix.
• "exclude the Leopard's black player, David Showell." Showell is already mentioned in the previous section, so there is a bunch of redundant wording just say "exclude Showell."
• "The Lafayette students, who were excited to see their football team put an end to its twenty-six year bowl game drought," What was the previous bowl game, bowl game was a relatively new novelty back in the 1940s, please clarify.
• Terry Kitchen is a folk singer-songwriter who grew up in Easton, PA on College Hill, the home of Lafayette College. The second half of the sentence, after PA is unneeded as the main text already mentions Easton as the home of Lafayette, remove.
• "the phone call between Lafayette's President." - President should be lower cased.
• All the citations need to be formatted according to our manual of style, book references need to have a ISBN number, templates such as Template:Cite news and Template:cite web should be used.Both fair use images are valid, and free images are correctly tagged as free.

There is too many problems for it to be near GA level. It needs a proper copyedit and I'm not entirely certain about the sourcing. Once these issues, especially concerning the referencing is fixed, I'll review the article again for GA status. Thanks Secret ^account 17:35, 1 April 2014 (UTC)

Nominator: Thank you for all the feedback Secret! I've made the changes you suggested and resubmitted the article for GA. Thanks again Jaironerao (talk) 18:26, 2 May 2014 (UTC)