Talk:11th Battalion (Australia)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Anotherclown (talk · contribs) 10:36, 10 September 2013 (UTC)

Progression

• Version of the article when originally reviewed: [1]
• Version of the article when review was closed: [2]

Technical review

• Citations: The Citation Check tool reveals no errors with reference consolidation (no action req'd).
• Disambiguations: one dab link [3]:
  • Messines
    • Fixed. AustralianRupert (talk) 12:15, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
• Linkrot: a couple of dead links [4]:
  • The Forgotten First: The 1st Australian Division in the Great War and its Legacy (info) [army.gov.au]
    • Fixed. AustralianRupert (talk) 12:15, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
  • Gerald Patrick McKenna (info) [ancestry.com]
    • Removed, probably not a WP:RS. AustralianRupert (talk) 12:15, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
  • AWM4-23/28/4: 11th Infantry Battalion War Diary: July 1915 (info) [awm.gov.au]
    • Fixed. AustralianRupert (talk) 12:15, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
• Alt text: Images all have alt text [5] (no action req'd).
• Copyright violations: The Earwig Tool reveals no issues with copyright violations or close paraphrasing [6] (no action req'd).
• Duplicate links: no duplicate links (no action req'd).

Criteria

• It is reasonably well written.

  a (prose): b (MoS):

  • "The 11th Battalion was formed on 17 August 1914, less than two weeks after the declaration of war on 4 August 1914..." suggest removing second instance of 1914 as already clear which year from the text.
  • Typo here: "Along with the 9th, 10th and 12th Battalions, it formed Colonel Ewen Sinclair-Maclagan's 3rd Brigade, which assigned to the 1st Division...", consider instead: "Along with the 9th, 10th and 12th Battalions, it formed Colonel Ewen Sinclair-Maclagan's 3rd Brigade, which was assigned to the 1st Division..."
  • This is a little repetitive: " The first battalion raised in Western Australia, under the command of Lieutenant Colonel James Lyon-Johnston, the battalion concentrated at Blackboy Hill, Western Australia..." (battalion twice in same sentence. Consider instead: " The first battalion raised in Western Australia, under the command of Lieutenant Colonel James Lyon-Johnston, it concentrated at Blackboy Hill, Western Australia."
  • Repetitive wording here: "However, the battalion became disorganised during the landing and became mixed with other units..." (became twice). Perhaps reword?
  • "On 31 July, a party of around 200 men led by Captain Raymond Leane...", should just be "On 31 July, a party of around 200 men led by Leane..." rm rank fol formal introduction at first use per WP:SURNAME.
  • "73 other members of the battalion were wounded during the attack...", fairly sure "73" needs to be spelt out here as a number starting a sentence per WP:MOSNUM, i.e. "seventy-three".
  • I think this could be worded better: "The withdrawal had been planned for the 14th, but due to bad weather this was delayed until on the night of the 16/17 November 1915." Consider instead: "The withdrawal had been planned for the 14th, but due to bad weather this was delayed until the night of the 16/17 November 1915."
  • Missing word here: "It arrived 5 April at Marseilles, France...", probably better as "It arrived on 5 April at Marseilles, France..."
  • Missing word here: "The Germans then put in another attack, which was once again turned back, before the 11th launched a limited counterattack regained the ground that had been lost..." consider: "The Germans then put in another attack, which was once again turned back, before the 11th launched a limited counterattack, regaining the ground that had been lost."
  • should be singular here, not plural: " one CBs"
  • Typo here: "The 11 Battalion's final commanding officer...", should be "The 11th Battalion's final commanding officer..."
  • Typo here: "...an original member of the battalion who had appointed a company sergeant major...", perhaps: "...an original member of the battalion who had been appointed a company sergeant major..."
  • Repetitive: "As a result of the economic pressures of the Great Depression, the number of volunteers fell and as a result..." (as a result twice).
  • Repetitive: "A separate 11th Battalion, Royal Western Australia Regiment was reformed separately..." (separate and separately).
    • I think I fixed all of these. AustralianRupert (talk) 12:15, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
• It is factually accurate and verifiable.

  a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

  • All major points cited using WP:RS.
  • No issues with OR.

• It is broad in its coverage.

  a (major aspects): b (focused):

  • Most major points seem to be covered without going into undue detail.
  • Level of coverage seems appropriate.

• It follows the neutral point of view policy.

  a (fair representation): b (all significant views):

  • No issues here.

• It is stable.

  No edit wars etc.:

  • No issues here.

• It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.

  a (tagged and captioned): b (Is illustrated with appropriate images): c (non-free images have fair use rationales): d public domain pictures appropriately demonstrate why they are public domain:

  • Images are all PD and / or licensed and seem appropriate to the article.

• Overall:

  a Pass/Fail:

  • Looks quite good to me, just some prose and MOS issues above to deal with / discuss. Anotherclown (talk) 11:17, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review. I think I've covered off on everything now. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 12:15, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
      • Changes look fine. Passing now. Anotherclown (talk) 10:00, 12 September 2013 (UTC)