This is a list of all episodes of The Phil Silvers Show.
Series overview
editEpisodes
editPilot
edit| Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date |
|---|---|---|---|
| "Audition Show" | Jerome Shaw | Nat Hiken | Unaired |
Season 1 (1955–56)
edit| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 1 | "New Recruits" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken | September 20, 1955 | |
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It's morning roll call at Fort Baxter in Roseville, Kansas. Sgt. Ernest G. Bilko (Phil Silvers) is in the middle of a poker game. The game breaks up when Bilko runs out of money and he can't get any from the guys in his platoon. Bilko finds out that the others were using a mirror to cheat during the game. The Chaplain suggests to Col. John T. Hall (Paul Ford) that he give Bilko an additional assignment. Bilko runs the motor pool so well that he has extra time to play poker. The Chaplain says Bilko should train the new recruits. The new recruits arrive and Bilko hopes to get money from them so he can play in the next big poker game. Bilko learns that the men gave all their money to Pvt. Higgins to hold. Higgins tells Bilko that holding the money is too much responsibility for him. He would like Bilko to hold the money. Higgins says that the Chaplain said he could trust Bilko. Bilko tells Cpl. Steve Henshaw (Allan Melvin) and Cpl. Rocco Barbella (Harvey Lembeck) that he won't use the money to gamble with. Bilko is tempted so he gives the money back to Higgins. | ||||||
| 2 | 2 | "Empty Store" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken | September 27, 1955 | |
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The men are still talking about how Sgt. Stanley Sowici (Harry Clark), Sgt. Andy Pendleton (Ned Glass) and Sgt. Francis Grover took all of Bilko's money in the poker game. Hoping to get some money for another poker game, Bilko tries to sell tickets to a dance, but no one is interested. Bilko learns that Pvt. Higgins lost the money he was holding for the men in a poker game. Bilko comes up with a plan to get his and the men's money back from the three Sergeants. He rents an empty store in town and people start to wonder why. Figuring Bilko is on to something, Pendleton gives him some money to be a partner. Sowici and Grover soon do the same. Col. Hall gave Bilko the OK to rent the store and is now worried about what's going on. A lot of the soldiers have been hanging around the store trying to find out what will be going in it. The Sergeants learn it really just is an empty store. Bilko gives Pvt. Higgins his share of the money back. Bilko finds out that with his share of the money, Barbella and Henshaw rented 6 more empty stores. Herbie Faye as Cpl. Sam Fender. | ||||||
| 3 | 3 | "The WAC" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken & Arnold Auerbach | October 4, 1955 | |
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Bilko decides to volunteer for a special duty because it would provide him with his own personal jeep. Bilko makes sure the other sergeants aren't interested in volunteering and find out about the jeep. Bilko finds out that a Sgt. Hogan also volunteered, but he doesn't know who that is. He decides to throw a party for this Hogan and then hopefully talk him out of the special duty. Bilko even gets local girl Mildred (Jane Dulo) to be Hogan's date. Hogan turns out to be Sgt. Joan Hogan (Elisabeth Fraser), a WAC. Everyone at the party finds out about the jeep. Bilko tries several ways to get Hogan to withdraw her name. He tries to make Hogan feel sorry for him, but she turns the tables on him. | ||||||
| 4 | 4 | "The Horse" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer | October 11, 1955 | |
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New recruit Pvt. Carter tells Bilko to bet some of the platoon's money on Bell Boy at the horse races. Bell Boy comes in last and Bilko doesn't know what he'll tell the men. Bilko learns the horse is for sale for $100 and Carter discovers that the horse has a leg problem he could fix. Carter says that when the leg is better, the horse will win plenty of races. Bilko buys the horse and they sneak it onto the base that night and put it in the gun shed. Meanwhile, Col. Hall is worried because General Strait (John Alexander) is coming for an inspection. In order to get food for the horse, Bilko has to get some of his men to volunteer to eat just oats for an Army experiment. After a while, Carter has Bell Boy's leg all better, but they need to run him. That night, Col. Hall is awakened by the sound of a horse running. Bilko has Pvt. Palmer (P. Jay Sidney) rig up some lights that the horse can wear at night. Carter tells Bilko that due to a bad tendon, Bell Boy will never be able to race. They hide the horse in the guest house just as General Strait arrives. Bilko can't stop Strait from going in the guest house. Strait is actually happy because the horse reminds him of his cavalry days. Jack Healy as Pvt. Mullen. | ||||||
| 5 | 5 | "AWOL" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer | October 18, 1955 | |
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The men are complaining about having to get up so early. Bilko tells them that Pvt. Steve Nagy (Pat Hingle) went AWOL again. Every time there's a family problem, Nagy leaves. Col. Hall sends Bilko to Chicago to retrieve Nagy. If he brings Nagy back by the next day, Hall won't make Nagy serve time. Bilko arrives at the Hungarian home of the Nagys where they are celebrating the engagement of Steve's sister, Magda (Lilia Skala). Bilko wants to leave right away with Steve, but then he sees the beautiful Vilma Nagy. Bilko starts a fight between the two families when he beats the groom's father, Mr. Varga (Hans Schumm), at a card game. The wedding is called off. Despite some confusion, Bilko finds a way for the couple to be married. Col. Hall sends Sgt. Sowici to bring back Bilko. Sowici winds up staying for the celebration. | ||||||
| 6 | 6 | "The Boxer" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer | October 25, 1955 | |
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The base will be having a boxing tournament this coming Saturday. Sowici tells the Lieutenant (Frank Marth) that Cpl. Basil Egan (Johnny Seven) was just transferred to his kitchen. Egan is apparently a good boxer. Bilko will be entering Pvt. Dino Papparelli (Billy Sands), who isn't very good. Bilko turns down a bet with Sowici. Bilko then learns that one of his men, Pvt. Claude Dillingham (Walter Cartier), was a Golden Gloves champ. He now makes a bet with Sowici. But then Claude tells Bilko that he promised his fiancé Felicia that he wouldn't box anymore. At a bar, Bilko tries to get Claude to fight a Navy man to defend Felicia's honor. Bilko learns that Claude's hobby is gardening and he gets triggered when someone insults Chrysanthemums. Bilko gets Egan to insult the flower in front of Claude and they're ready to fight. The Chaplain gets Claude and Egan to become friends and they decide not to fight each other. Terry Carter as Grover's Boxer. Dody Goodman as Waitress. | ||||||
| 7 | 7 | "The Hoodlum" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken | November 1, 1955 | |
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Bilko has the men breaking their backs cleaning the barracks. They discover that he's hoping to win Soldier of the Month and get a 3 day pass. Meanwhile, Col. Hall tells the Chaplain that he's going to dishonorably discharge Pvt. Chick Parker because he's nothing but a trouble maker. The Chaplain talks Hall into giving Parker one more chance and he is assigned to Bilko's platoon. For now, Bilko puts up with Parker's insubordination because he doesn't want to jeopardize winning the 3 day pass. Bilko comes up with a plan to straighten Parker out. They tell Parker that they are going to rob Fort Knox and he's going to help. Bilko gives him several things to do in preparation of the job. In the process, Parker is doing a lot of extra work that impresses Hall and the Chaplain. The men start to like Parker and he likes being accepted. Col. Hall comes by and gives the Soldier of the Month award to Parker. | ||||||
| 8 | 8 | "Mardi Gras" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer | November 8, 1955 | |
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It will soon be the platoon's annual Motor Pool Mardi Gras. Pvt. Duane Doberman (Maurice Gosfield) is picked to be King. In Doberman's locker the men find a scrapbook with pictures of socialite Joy Landers (Constance Ford), who has just returned from Paris. Bilko decides that Joy will be Doberman's Queen. Cpl. Barbella and some of the men go to see Joy and tell her about being appointed Queen. She laughs at the men and then turns them down. Meanwhile, Bilko tries to teach "girl shy" Doberman how to talk to a woman. Bilko comes up with an elaborate plan to trick Joy into wanting to be Queen by thinking that Doberman is something special. Even after he's describe Doberman's looks, Joy begs Bilko to introduce her to him. Doberman tells Joy to get lost. Bilko tells her that Doberman doesn't enjoy people laughing at him and this was their revenge. Having learned her lesson, Joy agrees to help with the Mardi Gras and be Queen. Russell Hicks as Mr. Landers. | ||||||
| 9 | 9 | "The Eating Contest" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken & Arnold Auerbach | November 15, 1955 | |
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Bilko's Company B constantly loses money to rival Company A. Cpl. Ed Honnegan (Fred Gwynne) has been transferred to Bilko's platoon. Cpl. Barbella recognizes Honnegan as "The Stomach", an eating champion. Bilko bets Sgt. Allan (Murray Hamilton), from Company A, and arranges an eating contest. Allan's entry will be Sgt. Hog Henderson (Bern Hoffman), who has won many times before. Bilko discovers that Ed only eats a lot when he's miserable. The last time he was that miserable was when his girl back home left him. Bilko finds a way to make Ed miserable again. After a talk with the Chaplain, Ed feels better. Bilko manages to get Ed sad again. It's the night of the contest and Hog remembers Ed. Honnegan wins the contest. Suddenly, Ed's old girlfriend Hazel shows up and they're happy to see each other. The Chaplain makes Bilko give the gambling winnings to the happy couple. Note: In 1997, TV Guide ranked this episode #53 on its list of the 100 Greatest Episodes.[1] | ||||||
| 10 | 10 | "The Centennial" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer | November 22, 1955 | |
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Lt. Barry Parker (Al Checco), a special services officer, has been transferred to Fort Baxter. Parker is surprised at the total lack of fine arts activities. He tells Bilko's men that he expects to see them at the art class. When they learn that beautiful Miss Doozer will be a model for the class, all the men want to go. But, they are disappointed when they have to paint Miss Doozer fully clothed. Bilko comes up with a plan to celebrate the centennial of the camp, knowing the camp has a pretty shady history. Col. Hall doesn't want Parker to find out about the camp's history because he'll probably quit. But when Parker curtails Hall's own card playing activates, Hall lets Bilko go ahead with his plans. Bilko and the men rehearse a play about the history of Fort Baxter. Parker is shocked at all the corruption that occurred. Parker cancels the celebration and quits. Lt. Kissel (Jason Evers) is the new special services officer and Bilko suggests a centennial celebration to him. | ||||||
| 11 | 11 | "Bivouac" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer | November 29, 1955 | |
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It's time for the camp's annual bivouac maneuvers. Col. Hall mentions to Captain 'Iron Curtain' Curtis, MD (Arthur Storch) that every year Bilko comes up with some disease to avoid participating. Bilko tries to talk several of the other sergeants into faking an illness with him. They all claim they're not doing it this year. Bilko is surprised when he sees the new doctor. Yet, Bilko is still able to fool Curtis into thinking he has the rare contagious Wilkinson's Disease. Curtis rounds up the sergeants that Bilko talked to and will isolate them together. Curtis gets upset when he realizes he's been tricked. Curtis sends Lt. Hilda Swenson, RN (Philippa Bevans) to stop Bilko from partying in his room. Hilda falls for Bilko's flattery. Curtis decides to get even with Bilko by making him believe he has a rare fatal disease. Hall thinks Bilko is dying until Curtis tells him the truth. Hall makes Bilko do the bivouac maneuvers. | ||||||
| 12 | 12 | "The Singing Contest" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer | December 6, 1955 | |
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It's winter time at Fort Baxter and the men are freezing. Bilko gets a memo about a camp singing contest. The finals will be held at Camp Phillips in Miami. Hoping to go somewhere warm, Bilko gets the men to practice singing together. Doberman does a solo and he's not very good. Col. Hall accuses Bilko of betting on the singing contest, but then Hall finds out it was someone else. Because they're so bad, Bilko takes the platoon's welfare fund and bets against them. While Bilko is gone making the bet, the men learn that new recruit Pvt. Claude Brubaker has a great voice. Bilko hears Brubaker's voice and knows the men could win. He tries to talk them into keeping Doberman as the soloist. Bilko then tries to have Brubaker transferred, but it doesn't work. It's time for the contest and Bilko has arranged for Brubaker to be detained somewhere else. The men are sad because they're going to lose. Bilko gets Brubaker back in time and the men wind up in the finals in Miami. Bilko also finds a way to replace the money that he lost in the bet. | ||||||
| 13 | 13 | "The Twitch" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer | December 13, 1955 | |
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Col. Hall complains to Captain Whitney about Bilko and all the gambling on the base. Hall tells Barbella that he is to tell Bilko that he is fed up and will be cracking down. Whitney thinks there should be more cultural things for the men to do. At a meeting of some officers and their wives, Bilko can't help but flatter the women, including newcomer Gloria Whitney (Charlotte Rae). Hall tells Bilko that he wants all the men to attend a lecture on Beethoven given by Gloria on Saturday night. There will also be a string quartet. Bilko's men aren't interested in going. Sgt. Allan says that he saw one of Gloria's lectures and she would always twitch during it. Bilko and the men decide to bet on how many times Gloria twitches. During the lecture, Hall figures out what the men are up to. Bilko tells Hall that the men will attend a lecture next week by Lt. Wigman, who tugs at his ear. | ||||||
| 14 | 14 | "The Reunion" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken & Arnold Auerbach | December 20, 1955 | |
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The men learn that Bilko has been granted a 10 day leave and they're afraid he'll hit them up for money. Bilko gets a letter about a 10 year reunion of his old squad from WW2. Henshaw and Barbella find a way to get money from the men so Bilko can go to the reunion in New York City. Bilko arrives at the Waldorf and he's excited to show the other men how far he's gone in the Army. The men show up to Bilko's room. Bilko is surprised to learn that they are all very successful businessmen and one guy is a doctor. Bilko can't bring himself to tell the others that he's still in the Army. Bilko has a change of heart. When he meets the others for dinner, he's wearing his uniform. The men are actually impressed and they have a great evening reminiscing. The next day one of the men, Pappy Morgan (Horace McMahon), wants to give Bilko a job in his trucking company. After getting a taste of what the job would entail, Bilko decides he'd be happier with his platoon. John Anderson as Zeke 'Ozark' Rutledge. | ||||||
| 15 | 15 | "The Rich Kid" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Barry Blitzer & Terry Ryan | December 27, 1955 | |
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Cpl. Fender is leaving on furlough because his wife had their seventh child. Bilko is upset because he has to give Fender $100 from the platoon welfare fund. Bilko was trying to save up money to buy the Paradise Bar and Grill in Roseville. Pvt. Tommy Vandemere (Mark Rydell) is sent to the platoon to replace Fender. Bilko learns that Tommy is sole heir to a multi-million dollar fortune. Tommy wants a transfer because he knows nothing about cars and he doesn't want to hurt the motor pool's efficiency. The men do what they can to make Tommy fit in. One night they take Tommy to the Paradise Bar. Bilko tries to hint at getting the money to buy the place. Tommy tells him it would be a bad investment. But, because the men have been so good to him, Tommy gives Bilko a blank check. In the end, Bilko decides to not take any money from Tommy. They later learn that he won't get his inheritence for 10 years. Dody Goodman as Waitress. Henry Lascoe as Sam Adamapplelis. | ||||||
| 16 | 16 | "Hollywood" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken | January 3, 1956 | |
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Cecil D. Chadwick (Howard Smith), a Hollywood producer, is planning to make a war film. Benson, his assistant, wants someone who served at the battle of Kabuchi Island to be a technical advisor. Apparently the only serving member of the Army they can find is Sgt. Bilko. General Merritt (Malcolm Lee Beggs), from the Pentagon, calls Col. Hall. At the movie studio, Bilko sits in on a meeting about the movie. There is some confusion over which side of the island the battle was fought and Bilko wants to make some other changes. Chadwick wants Bilko off the property. Bilko threatens to go to the reporters. Filming starts and Bilko causes some problems for Rory Mundane (Eric Fleming), the star of the picture. Bilko takes issue with an actor that is to play him in the movie. Chadwick is furious. Thanks to Bilko, production of the movie is way behind schedule. Chadwick cancels the movie. General Merritt is actually happy about the movie's cancellation and wants Hall to congratulate Bilko. Jule Styne as Himself. Robert Dryden as Sampson. | ||||||
| 17 | 17 | "The Investigation" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer | January 10, 1956 | |
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The men learn that Washington has formed a committee to investigate waste in the military and it could mean pay cuts. The committee is coming to Fort Baxter. Bilko actually thinks he can get the committee to give the men raises. He fast talks Col. Hall into letting him show the committee around the camp. Congressman Pettiguild (Ralph Dunn), Clyde Fortright (Howard Freeman) and Alice Colby (Nina Olivette) arrive at the camp. Bilko hopes to show that the camp is very poor. At first Fortright has a hard time believing things are so destitute, but then he is convinced. Fortright says he'll make sure the men get more money. But after the committee goes to Hall's house, they find out things are far from poor and Bilko deceived them. Hall tells the committee he'll show them what the camp is really like. Bilko decides to get some money for the men by playing poker with Fortright and Pettiguild. Jason Evers as Captain Kyler. | ||||||
| 18 | 18 | "Kids in the Trailer" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer | January 17, 1956 | |
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Bilko tells Doberman he won a three day pass, all expenses paid. Pvt. Mike O'Brien tells Bilko that his wife and kids arrived in town unexpectedly. They are in a trailer park and Bilko drives him over. Bilko meets the family. Wife Peg is disappointed that Mike can't get any time off. Bilko tells her that Mike is getting a three day pass and will get a WAC to babysit the three kids. Bilko and the men guilt Doberman into giving up his pass. Mike and Peg leave and Bilko is with the WAC in the trailor. Barbella and Henshaw come by and say the WAC is being sent to another camp and they couldn't get a replacement. Bilko is stuck watching the kids and he doesn't know how to change the baby's diaper. Bilko sneaks the kids into camp. Mike Jr. is very much into the Army and gets the men to be more presentable. Mike Jr. learns that his father is actually using Doberman's pass. He goes to Col. Hall to report his father is AWOL. Hall has his wife watch the kids and gives Doberman his pass. Doberman winds up giving his pass to Bilko. | ||||||
| 19 | 19 | "The Revolutionary War" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer | January 24, 1956 | |
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Bilko receives a package from his Aunt Minerva. It contains items from his ancester, Major Joshua Bilko, who was in the Revolutionary War. Joshua was on George Washington's staff. When he learns the supposed great things Joshua did, Bilko feels ashamed and decides to be a better soldier. Bilko tells Col. Hall that he wants to go into officer training. Bilko wants his men to act more Army. Bilko reads Joshua's diary with Barbella and Henshaw. It starts to sound as though Joshua was a conniving and shifty soldier. Bilko still defends him. They then read that Joshua sold tickets for the boat crossing of the Delaware. He sold so many that Washington had to stand. In the end, Washington strips Joshua of his rank. Joshua recommends Benedict Arnold (Frank Marth) as his replacement. Bilko then finds a medal given to Joshua by the British and realizes he was a traitor. Bilko decides to not be an officer and goes back to his old ways. Edith King as Mrs. George Washington. | ||||||
| 20 | 20 | "The Transfer" | Al De Caprio | Harvey Orkin, Vincent Bogert and Nat Hiken | January 31, 1956 | |
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Col. Hall comes back from Washington and is furious with Bilko. Hall saw Bilko and a blonde woman driving in Hall's staff car. Hall also wants Bilko to update his records. Until that is finished, there will be no outside activities, including this Saturday's dance. Sgt. Joan Hogan wants Bilko to pay back the money she lent him. Thinking Hall will never let it happen, Bilko wants to scare Hall by threatening to put in for a transfer. But Hall has had enough of Bilko's antics and transfers him to Fort Jackson, Kentucky. Col. Burke reads Bilko's record and actually likes the antics he's pulled. Sgt. Baycher (Bob Hastings), Bilko's replacement, arrives at Hall's office. Baycher is an overly efficient soldier. Meanwhile, Bilko is fitting in quite well at his new camp, with their dances and poker games. It's been a month and Baycher is driving Hall crazy. Hall's wife, Nell, tells him he clearly misses Bilko. Taking money from the men at Fort Jackson is too easy and Bilko misses the challenge. Bilko winds up coming back to Fort Baxter and Hall is happy about it. Billie Allen as WAC Billie. | ||||||
| 21 | 21 | "The Rest Cure" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Harvey Orkin & Barry Blitzer | February 7, 1956 | |
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Fort Baxter is in the midst of a heat wave. Captain Barker (Nicholas Saunders) ask Col. Hall if he granted Bilko a furlough. Hall says apparently an Aunt of Bilko's, who lives in northern Wisconson, is quite ill. Barker thinks it's just an excuse to go somewhere cooler. Barker also thinks a talent show Bilko is running will finance his trip. Bilko learns that Hall did barnyard imitations when he was at West Point. Bilko tells his men that he talked Hall into being in the talent show. Barker tells Bilko the show has been cancelled. Barker found out that Bilko lied about his Aunt being sick. Bilko and the men see a news reel about an Army recreational facility in the Rockies for soldiers suffering from mental fatigue. Bilko finds a way to get Major C. W. Friend (David White), who runs the facility, to come and inspect his men. When Friend arrives, Bilko gets all the men to act strangely. Friend wants to send the men to the facility, but Barker tells him the men acting like this is all a hoax. Barker brings Friend to Col. Hall to straighten things out, but Hall does his imitations instead. Things backfire on Bilko when Friend only takes Barker with him. | ||||||
| 22 | 22 | "Dinner at Sowici's" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Harvey Orkin & Barry Blitzer | February 14, 1956 | |
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Bilko is to be best man at the Army wedding of Joe Miller. His men tease him about when he'll marry casual girlfriend Sgt. Joan Hogan, but he says that won't happen. During the ceremony, Bilko starts to worry that Joan may have marriage on her mind. Something Joan does worries Bilko even more. Bilko's mind is eased when Joan says they had an agreement about no G.I. marriage. But then she says her parents are coming to meet him. Barbella and Henshaw tell Bilko he needs to break it off with Joan. Bilko gets jealous when another soldier asks Joan out. Knowing that Sowici constantly fights with his wife Agnes, Bilko wants to take Joan there for dinner. Hopefully this will sour her on marriage. Sowici and Agnes are touched that Bilko wants to have dinner with them and they decide to show him a happy home. When they arrive at the Sowici home, Bilko is surprised to see them acting like a loving couple. Something happens that causes Joan to leave in tears. Darryl Richard as Stanley Sowici Jr. | ||||||
| 23 | 23 | "Army Memoirs" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Harvey Orkin & Barry Blitzer | February 21, 1956 | |
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In New York City, Publisher C. Dunne receives another Army memoir. The title is called "Bilko". It all started when Col. Hall is upset about the monthly reports from Washington. Three of his four sergeants were reprimanded for unmilitary conduct. Bilko comes under pressure when Grover, Pendleton and Sowici complain about his activity on the base. Captain Barker demands that Bilko be punished. Hall demotes him and Bilko becomes the oldest private in the Army. Bilko tells Barbella and Henshaw that it won't be long and he'll be a sergeant again. Bilko pretends to write a book and the others are worried about what he'll say about them. Bilko finds a way to trick Pendleton and Grover into revealing some major mistakes they made that cost the Army. Sowici is worried he's next. The three beg Hall to make Bilko a sergeant again. Bilko tricks Hall into revealing something about himself. We can assume Bilko gets his stripes. Dunne reads that Hall didn't give Bilko his stripes back. Dunne won't publish it as it's too unbelievable and will send it back to the author, Col. Hall. | ||||||
| 24 | 24 | "Miss America" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Arnie Rosen, Coleman Jacoby, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer | February 28, 1956 | |
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Bilko's latest money making scheme is the "Sweetheart of the Platoon" contest. Pvt. Irving Fleischman (Maurice Brenner) was the only one to submit a picture. Bilko finds a way to get the other men to also enter. Everyone is stunned when they see a picture of Pvt. Hannigan's sweetheart and how beautiful she is. The men take back their pictures. Bilko sees a future Miss America. Bilko goes to talk to The Editor (Jack Orrison) of the paper that's running the Miss Kansas finals. Bilko has to keep this from Hannigan because he would be against it. Col. Hall tells Bilko to forget about his Miss America plan. Bilko dreams about Hannigan's sweetheart becoming Miss America (Anne Helm) and he's dancing with her. Bilko finds a way to get Hall to change his mind. Word about the contest spreads in the papers. Gen. Merrick from Washington calls Hall and wants the contest shut down. Bilko and the men are already at the contest in Topeka. Josie Hannigan (Judith Lowry) shows up and she's an old woman. Turns out Josie is Hannigan's mother and the picture was taken 40 years ago. Hannigan says his mother is his sweetheart. They still enter Josie and she is a hit. | ||||||
| 25 | 25 | "The Court Martial" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Coleman Jacoby & Arnie Rosen | March 6, 1956 | |
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Col. Hall wants to set a new record for inducting new recruits into the Army. Captain Barker thinks they can process over 300 recruits in under 2 hours. General Rogers is coming to inspect some of the new men. Recruit Charlie Chapman (Joey Faye) sneaks a chimpanzee into the barracks. Charlie explains to Bilko that he and Zippo are part of a vaudeville act. Charlie's brother was supposed to meet him in town to take Zippo. Zippo somehow gets enlisted as Private Harry Speakup. Bilko tries to get Zippo out of the line but things are moving too quickly. Bilko finally tells Hall about the chimp. But General Rogers swears everyone in and Zippo is in the Army. Rogers wants the records changed but they've already been sent to the Pentagon. Turns out Zippo bit Sgt. Sowici on the finger. They now have the excuse to Court Martial Private Speakup to make everything legal and Bilko will be the chimp's lawyer. Bilko takes his job as defending lawyer a little too seriously. But they come up with a way to discharge Private Speakup. | ||||||
| 26 | 26 | "Furlough in New York" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken & Terry Ryan | March 13, 1956 | |
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Sgt. Joan Hogan is going on a 15 day furlough to New York and doesn't want Bilko to know. She tells WAC Edna and Billie that, while she really likes Bilko, it's a good idea to take a break from each other. Turns out that Bilko is doing the exact same thing and doesn't want Joan to find out. They both learn about each other's furlough but avoid mentioning New York. In New York they each hope to rekindle old friendships and romances. But, neither one is having any luck contacting people. Joan does hook up with two old college girlfriends. A woman named Phyllis, who Bilko once stood up, recognizes him and introduces him to her husband, Sam. Sam gives Bilko the number of his secretary. Bilko calls and it's one of Joan's girlfriends. Not knowing who he is, she wants to hook Bilko up with Joan, but they get disconnected. Through a misunderstanding, Bilko winds up in a steam room at the YWCA with Joan. He doesn't see Joan and all the women leave when they see a man in the room. Both Joan and Bilko come back to the base early. Because they wind up with each other's dog tags, they figure out that they were both in the steam room. | ||||||
| 27 | 27 | "The Big Uranium Strike" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Tony Webster, Coleman Jacoby & Arnie Rosen | March 20, 1956 | |
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Bilko is at the local paper trying to put an ad in about an upcoming dance. While there, Bilko hears that uranium was discovered on Mr. Harris' farm, which adjoins Fort Baxter. Bilko tells his men he believes there may be uranium on base property and they'll all be rich. He wants Doberman to walk around the base at night with a geiger counter while on guard duty. Things do not go well and Doberman winds up falling in a creek. Col. Hall is woken up by flares and other noises. Hall sends for Bilko to find out what's going on. While Hall is in another room, Doberman is brought to Hall's house and the geiger counter goes off. It takes some doing, but Bilko finds a way to get Hall and his wife out of the house. Bilko has his men start digging in the basement. The Hall's come home early and Bilko makes up a story about what the men are doing. Bilko learns from Hall that some radioactive clothing was buried under 15 feet of concrete in the basement. There's also an oil pipeline under the house, which the men dug into. | ||||||
| 28 | 28 | "Bilko and the Beast" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Tony Webster, Coleman Jacoby & Arnie Rosen | March 27, 1956 | |
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The men learn that Quenten Q Benton (George Mathews), a new drill sergeant, just transferred to the base. The men figure he won't last long. Benton and his secretary, Corporal Primm (Don Hanmer), arrive. Benton is nicknamed The Beast and he intends to be tough and in charge. Benton takes over Bilko's office. Bilko bets Sowici that Benton will be gone in a week. Bilko insures Benton for $100,000 and makes himself, Barbella and Henshaw the beneficiaries. Primm tells Benton that if something happened to him, Bilko and the others will get the money. Bilko and the men start to do things that worry and frighten Benton. Benton's been in hiding for a week. Col. Hall orders him to take the men out and work them. Bilko gets the Chaplain to say something that frightens Benton even more. Benton and Primm leave the base. | ||||||
| 29 | 29 | "The Physical Check Up" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan, Coleman Jacoby & Arnie Rosen | April 10, 1956 | |
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Bilko tries to convince Col. Hall that he can embark on a 20-mile hike. | ||||||
| 30 | 30 | "The Recruiting Sergeant" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Tony Webster & Terry Ryan | April 17, 1956 | |
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Bilko hatches a scheme to place a sure-fire bet on a horse race. | ||||||
| 31 | 31 | "Hair" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan, Barry Blitzer & Arnold Auerbach | April 24, 1956 | |
|
Bilko's girlfriend prefers men with flowing locks of hair. | ||||||
| 32 | 32 | "The Con Men" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken & Tony Webster | May 1, 1956 | |
|
Doberman loses $500 in a card game with three con artists. | ||||||
| 33 | 33 | "War Games" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken & Arnold Auerbach | May 8, 1956 | |
|
Bilko is best man at a wedding that happens to be on the same day as Army maneuvers. | ||||||
| 34 | 34 | "Bilko on Wall St." | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken & Tony Webster | May 15, 1956 | |
|
Bilko helps an old Army buddy become a successful financier on Wall Street. | ||||||
Season 2 (1956–57)
edit| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 35 | 1 | "Platoon in the Movies" | Al De Caprio | Story by : Nat Hiken Teleplay by : Nat Hiken, Tony Webster & Billy Friedberg | September 18, 1956 | |
|
Fort Baxter is chosen as the location for an Army training film that Bilko manages to make into a musical comedy. | ||||||
| 36 | 2 | "It's for the Birds" | Al De Caprio | Story by : Nat Hiken Teleplay by : Nat Hiken & Billy Friedberg | September 25, 1956 | |
|
A member of Bilko's unit with an incredible knowledge of birds goes on a TV quiz show. | ||||||
| 37 | 3 | "Bilko Goes to College" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Leonard Stern, Tony Webster & Billy Friedberg | October 2, 1956 | |
|
Bilko's latest scheme involves a college football game. | ||||||
| 38 | 4 | "The Girl from Italy" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Leonard Stern, Billy Friedberg & Tony Webster | October 9, 1956 | |
|
Bilko attempts to make a newly arrived immigrant girl look presentable. | ||||||
| 39 | 5 | "The Face on the Recruiting Poster" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Tony Webster, Leonard Stern & Billy Friedberg | October 16, 1956 | |
|
Doberman is chosen as the face on the recruiting poster. | ||||||
| 40 | 6 | "Bilko's War Against Culture" | Al De Caprio | Story by : Aaron Ruben and Phil Sharp Teleplay by : Nat Hiken, Aaron Ruben and Phil Sharp | October 23, 1956 | |
|
A WAC lieutenant is sent to Fort Baxter to stop the gambling. | ||||||
| 41 | 7 | "The Song of the Motor Pool" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg, Tony Webster and Leonard Stern | October 30, 1956 | |
|
When Bilko needs a song as the Motor Corps' theme, he decides to use the tune Paparelli hums in the shower. | ||||||
| 42 | 8 | "Bilko's Engagement" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg, Tony Webster and Leonard Stern | November 6, 1956 | |
|
Bilko tries to get out of his engagement to a WAC. | ||||||
| 43 | 9 | "A Mess Sergeant Can't Win" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Tony Webster, Leonard Stern & Billy Friedberg | November 13, 1956 | |
|
With Ritzik retiring from the Army, Bilko tries to increase his bank roll. | ||||||
| 44 | 10 | "Doberman's Sister" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg, Tony Webster and Leonard Stern | November 20, 1956 | |
|
No one is willing to date Doberman's visiting sister. | ||||||
| 45 | 11 | "Where There's a Will" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Leonard Stern, Billy Friedberg & Tony Webster | November 27, 1956 | |
|
Bilko steps in when a member of his platoon is cut out of a will. | ||||||
| 46 | 12 | "Bilko's Tax Trouble" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Leonard Stern, Billy Friedberg & Tony Webster | December 4, 1956 | |
|
Bilko finds himself against the IRS. | ||||||
| 47 | 13 | "Mink Incorporated" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Tony Webster | December 11, 1956 | |
|
When Bilko loses the platoon treasury money he borrowed, he tries to replace it. | ||||||
| 48 | 14 | "Sergeant Bilko Presents Ed Sullivan" | Al De Caprio | Story by : Nat Hiken Teleplay by : Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Terry Ryan | December 18, 1956 | |
|
Bilko sets out to represent Fort Baxter on The Ed Sullivan Show. | ||||||
| 49 | 15 | "Bilko Gets Some Sleep" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Tony Webster & Billy Friedberg | December 25, 1956 | |
|
When Bilko is unable to sleep, a psychiatrist advises him to reform, but when the sergeant does, everyone suspects he's up to something. | ||||||
| 50 | 16 | "The Blue Blood of Bilko" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Tony Webster | January 8, 1957 | |
|
Bilko tries to help a fellow sergeant who's been snubbed by Philadelphia blue bloods. | ||||||
| 51 | 17 | "Love That Guardhouse" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg, Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | January 15, 1957 | |
|
Col. Hall tries to stop Bilko from getting Ritzik's Las Vegas winnings. | ||||||
| 52 | 18 | "Sergeant Bilko Presents Bing Crosby" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg, Aaron Ruben and Phil Sharp | January 22, 1957 | |
|
Bilko uses Bing Crosby in a scheme to recoup the platoon treasury money he lost. | ||||||
| 53 | 19 | "Bilko Goes to Monte Carlo" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken & Billy Friedberg | January 29, 1957 | |
|
Bilko goes to Monte Carlo to try out a new gambling system. | ||||||
| 54 | 20 | "Bilko Enters Politics" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg, Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | February 5, 1957 | |
|
Bilko manages Doberman's mayoral campaign. | ||||||
| 55 | 21 | "Bilko's Television Idea" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken & Billy Friedberg | February 12, 1957 | |
|
Bilko and his men help a comic regain his popularity. | ||||||
| 56 | 22 | "The Son of Bilko" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg, Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | February 26, 1957 | |
|
Bilko becomes a father figure to a draftee no one else can stand. | ||||||
| 57 | 23 | "Rock 'n' Roll Rookie" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken & Billy Friedberg | March 5, 1957 | |
|
Bilko's latest pigeon is a rock star recruited into the Army. | ||||||
| 58 | 24 | "Bilko's Black Magic" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Tony Webster & Billy Friedberg | March 19, 1957 | |
|
A World War II veteran makes friends with the soldiers of Fort Baxter when he makes a fortune in back pay. | ||||||
| 59 | 25 | "Bilko Goes South" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Lou Meltzer | March 26, 1957 | |
|
Bilko and company unwittingly volunteer for a series of medical experiments. | ||||||
| 60 | 26 | "Bilko Goes Around the World" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Tony Webster | April 2, 1957 | |
|
Bilko schemes to win a contest to go around the world in 80 hours. | ||||||
| 61 | 27 | "The Mess Hall Mess" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Terry Ryan | April 9, 1957 | |
|
Bilko uses a French recipe to win a contest for the best American dish. | ||||||
| 62 | 28 | "The Secret Life of Sergeant Bilko" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Terry Ryan | April 16, 1957 | |
|
A snooping reporter thinks there's a security leak at Fort Baxter. | ||||||
| 63 | 29 | "Radio Station B.I.L.K.O." | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Terry Ryan | April 23, 1957 | |
|
Bilko starts a radio station at Fort Baxter. | ||||||
| 64 | 30 | "Bilko the Marriage Broker" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg, Coleman Jacoby, Arnie Rosen & Terry Ryan | April 30, 1957 | |
|
Bilko tries to get an Army efficiency expert interested in a girl. | ||||||
| 65 | 31 | "Bilko Acres" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken & Billy Friedberg | May 7, 1957 | |
|
Bilko gets into the real-estate business when he finds out Fort Baxter will be deserted. | ||||||
| 66 | 32 | "The Big Scandal" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Tony Webster | May 14, 1957 | |
|
Doberman thinks he's fallen for Col. Hall's wife. | ||||||
| 67 | 33 | "Bilko's Perfect Day" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Terry Ryan | May 21, 1957 | |
|
Bilko feels lucky until he decides to cash in on his good luck. | ||||||
| 68 | 34 | "The Colonel Breaks Par" | Al De Caprio | Sydney Zelinka, A.J. Russell, Nat Hiken & Billy Friedberg | May 28, 1957 | |
|
Sam Snead helps Bilko talk Col. Hall into entering a golf tournament. | ||||||
| 69 | 35 | "Show Segments" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken & Billy Friedberg | June 4, 1957 | |
|
Phil Silvers and crew review segments cut from the show. | ||||||
| 70 | 36 | "His Highness Doberman" | Al De Caprio | A.J. Russell, Sydney Zelinka & Billy Friedberg | June 11, 1957 | |
|
Doberman falls for an heiress whose parents are given the royal treatment courtesy of Sgt. Bilko. | ||||||
Season 3 (1957–58)
edit| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 71 | 1 | "Bilko's Merry Widow" | Al De Caprio | Nat Hiken & Billy Friedberg | September 17, 1957 | |
|
Bilko puts on a production of The Merry Widow for Roseville, Kansas. | ||||||
| 72 | 2 | "Bilko's Boy's Town" | Al De Caprio | Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan | September 24, 1957 | |
|
Bilko starts a boys' camp at Fort Baxter. | ||||||
| 73 | 3 | "Hillbilly Whiz" | Al De Caprio | Coleman Jacoby & Arnie Rosen | October 1, 1957 | |
|
Bilko tries to sell his new recruit to a baseball team. | ||||||
| 74 | 4 | "Bilko's Valentine" | Al De Caprio | Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan | October 8, 1957 | |
|
To get back at Bilko for forgetting her on Valentine's Day, Joan quits the Army and heads for home. | ||||||
| 75 | 5 | "The Big Man Hunt" | Al De Caprio | Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan | October 15, 1957 | |
|
An ex-GI is looking for the man who saved his life in World War II -- and Bilko thinks he's the one. | ||||||
| 76 | 6 | "Bilko's Double Life" | Al De Caprio | A.J. Russell and Sydney Zelinka | October 22, 1957 | |
|
Bilko is mistaken for a millionaire while he's in New York on furlough. | ||||||
| 77 | 7 | "Sergeant Bilko Presents" | Al De Caprio | Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan | October 29, 1957 | |
|
A playwright-recruit gives Bilko the idea of producing a Broadway show. | ||||||
| 78 | 8 | "Papa Bilko" | Al De Caprio | Sydney Zelinka & A.J. Russell | November 5, 1957 | |
|
A French girl comes to Fort Baxter and calls Bilko "Papa". | ||||||
| 79 | 9 | "Bilko Talks in His Sleep" | Al De Caprio | Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan | November 19, 1957 | |
|
Bilko unwittingly gives away money while talking in his sleep. | ||||||
| 80 | 10 | "Cherokee Ernie" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen, Coleman Jacoby, Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan | November 26, 1957 | |
|
Bilko nearly gives the Indians back Oklahoma. | ||||||
| 81 | 11 | "Bilko Buys a Club" | Al De Caprio | Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan | December 3, 1957 | |
|
Bilko starts a nightclub to raise money. | ||||||
| 82 | 12 | "Lieutenant Bilko" | Al De Caprio | Sydney Zelinka & A.J. Russell | December 10, 1957 | |
|
Bilko decides to leave the army until he learns he was promoted to lieutenant during World War II and sets out to collect his back pay. | ||||||
| 83 | 13 | "Bilko at Bay" | Al De Caprio | A.J. Russell, Sydney Zelinka & Terry Ryan | December 17, 1957 | |
|
Bilko, Henshaw and Rocco are held hostage by bank robbers. | ||||||
| 84 | 14 | "Bilko F.O.B. Detroit" | Al De Caprio | Sydney Zelinka & A.J. Russell | December 24, 1957 | |
|
Bilko and his men are sent to Detroit to pick up a load of trucks. | ||||||
| 85 | 15 | "Bilko and the Flying Saucers" | Al De Caprio | Coleman Jacoby & Arnie Rosen | December 31, 1957 | |
|
Bilko claims to have seen flying saucers. | ||||||
| 86 | 16 | "Bilko and the Colonel's Secretary" | Al De Caprio | Sydney Zelinka, A.J. Russell, Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan | January 7, 1958 | |
|
Col. Hall's secretary gives Bilko and his men the worst assignments. | ||||||
| 87 | 17 | "Doberman the Crooner" | Al De Caprio | Phil Sharp, Terry Ryan & Vincent Bogert | January 14, 1958 | |
|
Bilko's latest scheme involves Doberman's singing, but Doberman is only a good crooner when he's sick. | ||||||
| 88 | 18 | "Bilko Presents Kay Kendall" | Al De Caprio | Neil Simon & Terry Ryan | January 21, 1958 | |
|
Bilko talks Kay Kendall into performing for his men. | ||||||
| 89 | 19 | "Bilko's Cousin" | Al De Caprio | Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan | January 28, 1958 | |
|
Bilko hatches a scheme to make his dim-witted cousin look good. | ||||||
| 90 | 20 | "Bilko's Pigeons" | Al De Caprio | Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan | February 4, 1958 | |
|
Bilko uses carrier pigeons as racing birds to make money. | ||||||
| 91 | 21 | "Cyrano de Bilko" | Al De Caprio | Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan | February 14, 1958 | |
|
Bilko suspects that one of his recruits is being duped by an older woman. | ||||||
| 92 | 22 | "The Colonel's Reunion" | Al De Caprio | Coleman Jacoby & Arnie Rosen | February 21, 1958 | |
|
A conflict ensues between Bilko and Col. Hall, who's come up with another effort to stop the gambling. | ||||||
| 93 | 23 | "Bilko Saves Ritzik's Marriage" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | February 28, 1958 | |
|
Bilko becomes a marriage counselor when Ritzik and his wife fight over a card game. | ||||||
| 94 | 24 | "Bilko, the Art Lover" | Al De Caprio | Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan | March 7, 1958 | |
|
An old Army buddy of Bilko's (Alan Alda in his television debut) aspires to be a Bohemian artist. | ||||||
| 95 | 25 | "Bilko, the Genius" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen, Coleman Jacoby, Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan | March 14, 1958 | |
|
Bilko teaches Army scientists the art of a sure-fire gambling system. | ||||||
| 96 | 26 | "Bilko the Male Model" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | March 21, 1958 | |
|
Bilko is offered a modeling job. | ||||||
| 97 | 27 | "The Colonel's Inheritance" | Al De Caprio | Phil Sharp, Terry Ryan and Paul Jordan | April 4, 1958 | |
|
Bilko invests Col. Hall's inheritance money in a stock tip that plunges. | ||||||
| 98 | 28 | "Bilko's Honeymoon" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | April 11, 1958 | |
|
Bilko and Paparelli dress as newlyweds to win a free vacation in Miami. | ||||||
| 99 | 29 | "Bilko's Chinese Restaurant" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | April 25, 1958 | |
|
Bilko starts a Chinese restaurant business. | ||||||
| 100 | 30 | "Operation Love" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen, Coleman Jacoby & Terry Ryan | May 2, 1958 | |
|
Bilko begins a campaign to bring WACs to Fort Baxter. | ||||||
| 101 | 31 | "Bilko's TV Pilot" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | May 9, 1958 | |
|
Bilko produces a pilot for a TV show. | ||||||
| 102 | 32 | "Bilko Retires from Gambling" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | May 16, 1958 | |
|
Col. Hall uses a card expert to trick Bilko into thinking he's gotten bad at gambling. | ||||||
| 103 | 33 | "Bilko's Vacation" | Al De Caprio | Terry Ryan & Neil Simon | May 23, 1958 | |
|
Bilko tries to convince his platoon to vacation at Dimmeldorf Lodge since he'll get a free week there. | ||||||
| 104 | 34 | "Bilko's Insurance Company" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | May 30, 1958 | |
|
Bilko starts an insurance business that also offers maternity benefits. | ||||||
| 105 | 35 | "Bilko's Prize Poodle" | Al De Caprio | Neil Simon & Terry Ryan | June 6, 1958 | |
|
Bilko enters a poodle in a dog show to win $10,000. | ||||||
| 106 | 36 | "Bilko's School Days" | Al De Caprio | Neil Simon & Terry Ryan | June 13, 1958 | |
|
Bilko hopes to make money of a training school being planned at Fort Baxter. | ||||||
| 107 | 37 | "Joan's Big Romance" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | June 27, 1958 | |
|
Joan has a picture taken of her with a millionaire to get back at Bilko for choosing poker over her. | ||||||
Season 4 (1958–59)
edit| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 108 | 1 | "Gold Fever" | Al De Caprio | Neil Simon & Terry Ryan | September 26, 1958 | |
|
Bilko plots to have his platoon transferred to the site of a gold mine. | ||||||
| 109 | 2 | "Bilko's Vampire" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | October 3, 1958 | |
|
Ritzik is too addicted to horror movies on TV to focus on poker games. | ||||||
| 110 | 3 | "Bilko's De Luxe Tours" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | October 10, 1958 | |
|
Bilko organizes Hollywood tours and guarantees meetings with movie stars. | ||||||
| 111 | 4 | "Bilko the Potato Sack King" | Al De Caprio | Neil Simon & Terry Ryan | October 17, 1958 | |
|
Bilko tries to convince the Army that the million burlap bags can be useful. | ||||||
| 112 | 5 | "Bilko vs. Covington" | Al De Caprio | Neil Simon, Terry Ryan & Arnie Rosen | October 24, 1958 | |
|
A visiting sergeant challenges Bilko's gambling business. | ||||||
| 113 | 6 | "Bilko Joins the Navy" | Al De Caprio | Neil Simon & Terry Ryan | October 31, 1958 | |
|
Bilko, Paparelli and Zimmerman pretend to be sailors to get into a dice game. | ||||||
| 114 | 7 | "Bilko's Big Woman Hunt" | Al De Caprio | Neil Simon & Terry Ryan | November 7, 1958 | |
|
Bilko falls for a dancing teacher. | ||||||
| 115 | 8 | "Bilko and the Crosbys" | Al De Caprio | Neil Simon & Terry Ryan | November 14, 1958 | |
|
Bing Crosby's son Lindsay joins the army, leading Bilko to wonder what life would be like if he were head of the Crosby clan. | ||||||
| 116 | 9 | "Bilko's Allergy" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | November 21, 1958 | |
|
Bilko develops an allergy to playing cards. | ||||||
| 117 | 10 | "Bilko and the Chaplain" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | November 28, 1958 | |
|
Col. Hall assigns a chaplain to the platoon in order to keep Bilko and his men in line. | ||||||
| 118 | 11 | "Bilko Presents the McGuire Sisters" | Al De Caprio | Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan | December 5, 1958 | |
|
Bilko plots to make money off managing the McGuire Sisters. Note: Features an uncredited appearance by Maude/The Golden Girls star Bea Arthur and Mickey Rooney. | ||||||
| 119 | 12 | "Bilko's Secret Mission" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | December 12, 1958 | |
|
Bilko and Ritzik end up in Las Vegas on a secret mission in Nevada. | ||||||
| 120 | 13 | "Bilko's Giveaway" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | December 19, 1958 | |
|
Bilko wins a lot of merchandise on a quiz show, then tries to sell it on his own giveaway program. | ||||||
| 121 | 14 | "Bilko and the Medium" | Al De Caprio | Neil Simon & Terry Ryan | December 26, 1958 | |
|
Bilko uses a medium to get Ritzik's money. | ||||||
| 122 | 15 | "Bilko's Bopster" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | January 2, 1959 | |
|
Bilko learns that his new recruit is a famous bandleader. | ||||||
| 123 | 16 | "Bilko's Hollywood Romance" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | January 9, 1959 | |
|
Bilko becomes part of a press agent's scheme to fix a movie star up with a "simple" soldier. | ||||||
| 124 | 17 | "Bilko's Grand Hotel" | Al De Caprio | Neil Simon & Terry Ryan | January 30, 1959 | |
|
Bilko purchases a rundown hotel in the hope that a famous chain will buy him out. | ||||||
| 125 | 18 | "Bilko's Credit Card" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | February 6, 1959 | |
|
Bilko starts a credit card club for the Camp Fremont service personnel. | ||||||
| 126 | 19 | "Viva Bilko" | Al De Caprio | Neil Simon & Terry Ryan | February 13, 1959 | |
|
Bilko and his men vacation in Mexico where they have trouble with the language and the law. | ||||||
| 127 | 20 | "The Colonel's Promotion" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | February 20, 1959 | |
|
When Col. Hall misses out on a promotion, Bilko talks him into complaining to the President. | ||||||
| 128 | 21 | "Bilko's Sharpshooter" | Al De Caprio | Neil Simon & Terry Ryan | February 27, 1959 | |
|
Bilko's latest scheme involves a sharpshooting WAC. | ||||||
| 129 | 22 | "Bilko's Formula Seven" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | March 6, 1959 | |
|
Bilko believes that a mixture of applejack juice and crankshaft oil will make a fortune as the next best cosmetic product. | ||||||
| 130 | 23 | "Bilko's Ape Man" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | March 20, 1959 | |
|
Bilko attempts to make Private Forbes a star by casting him in an ape picture. Features an uncredited appearance by Lucille Ball. | ||||||
| 131 | 24 | "Warrant Officer Paparelli" | Al De Caprio | Neil Simon & Terry Ryan | March 27, 1959 | |
|
Bilko promotes Paparelli to warrant officer. | ||||||
| 132 | 25 | "Bilko's Godson" | Al De Caprio | Neil Simon & Terry Ryan | April 3, 1959 | |
|
Bilko becomes godfather to a baby boy -- and begins planning the infant's future. | ||||||
| 133 | 26 | "Guinea Pig Bilko" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | April 17, 1959 | |
|
Col. Hall tricks Bilko into being a test subject for a new tranquilizer. | ||||||
| 134 | 27 | "Bilko, the Butler" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | April 24, 1959 | |
|
Bilko worms his way into a society dinner dressed as a butler. | ||||||
| 135 | 28 | "Ritzik Goes Civilian" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | May 1, 1959 | |
|
After Ritzik's wife talks him into leaving the army, they lose their life savings to swindlers for their newly opened diner, so Bilko tries to help them get it back. | ||||||
| 136 | 29 | "Bilko's Small Car" | Al De Caprio | Neil Simon & Terry Ryan | May 8, 1959 | |
|
Bilko uses Col. Hall's new car to transport gambling equipment, but when the police impound the car, Bilko must replace it. | ||||||
| 137 | 30 | "Doberman: Missing Heir" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | May 15, 1959 | |
|
When Doberman is discovered to be the long-lost heir to a British fortune, Bilko schemes to receive his cut of the dough. | ||||||
| 138 | 31 | "Bilko's Casino" | Al De Caprio | Neil Simon & Terry Ryan | May 22, 1959 | |
|
Bilko converts USO headquarters into a casino. | ||||||
| 139 | 32 | "The Colonel's Second Honeymoon" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | May 29, 1959 | |
|
For his vacation, Bilko picks the same location where Col. Hall is on his second honeymoon. | ||||||
| 140 | 33 | "Bilko in Outer Space" | Al De Caprio | Neil Simon & Terry Ryan | June 5, 1959 | |
|
Bilko tricks Ritzik and Grover into taking a space endurance test before winning $600 from them in a poker game. | ||||||
| 141 | 34 | "The Bilko Boycott" | Al De Caprio | Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby | June 12, 1959 | |
|
Bilko concentrates his gambling efforts on the WACs when Henshaw sets up a Gamblers' Anonymous club. | ||||||
| 142 | 35 | "Weekend Colonel" | Al De Caprio | Neil Simon & Terry Ryan | June 19, 1959 | |
|
Someone resembling Col. Hall turns the officers' club into a casino while the real Col. Hall is on a weekend break with his wife. | ||||||
Special (1959)
edit| Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| "The Phil Silvers Pontiac Special: Keep in Step" | Al De Caprio | Unknown | January 23, 1959 | |
|
In this hour-long special, Bilko stages a musical celebration of silver screen beauties entitled Bilko's Brevities. | ||||