User:Joeyquism/The problem with short sentences

In my many years of writing, I have developed a marked aversion to the use of short sentences in prose. They often render an otherwise engaging narrative fragmented and, at times, lacking in sophistication. While this preference is largely personal, I have frequently addressed this concern during both good and featured article reviews. My intention in doing so is to help elevate others' writing styles, hopefully encouraging a more fluid and cohesive approach to prose composition.

Why short sentences are (mostly) bad

Asparagustus von Huygens the Eight-Year Old Boy (1608), by Jannis Ketch Carolinius Weenis

Take, for instance, this example excerpt that I did not make up:

The portrait depicts Asparagustus von Huygens the Elder as an eight-year old child. It has been recognized by modern art critics as one of the most famous Dutch Golden Age paintings.

This sucks. While I would not expect to see such prose in an actual article, expectations are often defied. I have found that it's not uncommon to encounter similarly disjointed styles in some articles, including even those of more experienced editors whose work I admire. The problem with this approach is that readers may feel as if they are absorbing a series of isolated statements rather than an alluring narrative that is expected of an excellent article. This fragmented style can disrupt the flow of the text, making it harder for readers to immerse themselves in the subject matter. Instead, looking to write fluid, well-connected sentences can greatly enhance the readability, enjoyability, and overall quality of the writing.

Here's how I would revise this excerpt:

The portrait, which depicts Asparagustus von Huygens the Elder as an eight-year-old child, has been recognized by modern art critics as one of the most famous Dutch Golden Age paintings.

Doesn't this read much better? It's clear, concise, and keeps the reader engaged. Instead of jumping between ideas, it creates a smooth narrative that is much easier to follow and makes for a better reading experience. By combining related information into a single, well-crafted sentence, the writing becomes more polished and professional without being flashy. Try to aim for this kind of fluidity in your prose to keep readers hooked, because we all know what happens if we don't keep our readers on a linguistic leash.

Semicolons

Semicolons can also be utilized to the same effect. For example:

The portrait initially received few comments from contemporary critics. Many thought that the work was overshadowed by Weenis's other portraits, such as those of King Bruguel VI, Lucius Hellenicinius, and Tycho Brahe.

Pardon the awful writing; I'm tired.

Using semicolons effectively can significantly improve the flow and coherence of your writing. Semicolons allow you to link closely related ideas, making your prose more connected and easier to follow. For instance, consider this revision:

The portrait initially received few comments from contemporary critics; many thought that the work was overshadowed by Weenis’s other portraits, such as those of King Bruguel VI, Lucius Hellenicinius, and Tycho Brahe.

Here, the semicolon connects two related thoughts into a single, cohesive sentence. This not only improves the feel of the text but also emphasizes the relationship between the initial reception of the portrait and its comparison to other works by the same artist. The use of semicolons can create a more sophisticated and engaging narrative, much like the simple merger of sentences shown above.

The word "and"

The word "and" is another tool that, when used judiciously, can greatly enhance your writing. It can connect ideas, actions, or descriptions, and provide a sense of continuity and progression. For instance, the initial excerpt (I am way too lazy to write another one):

The portrait depicts Asparagustus von Huygens the Elder as an eight-year-old child. It has been recognized by modern art critics as one of the most famous Dutch Golden Age paintings.

Can be improved by revising it to:

The portrait depicts Asparagustus von Huygens the Elder as an eight-year-old child and has been recognized by modern art critics as one of the most famous Dutch Golden Age paintings.

The use of "and" here effectively links the depiction of the portrait with its critical recognition, creating an uninterrupted transition between these two pieces of information. This small change makes the sentence feel more cohesive and helps maintain the reader's engagement by presenting the information as part of a unified whole. However, note that overusing "and" can make your writing feel repetitive. The best approach is to try and strike a balance, using "and" when it naturally connects ideas but also varying your sentence structure to keep the prose dynamic.

When short sentences are good

In my infinite wisdom, I have realized that short sentences serve a very specific purpose: they are excellent for the beginning of a paragraph. When used strategically, they add a touch of flavor to an otherwise monotonous piece of text filled with endless clauses and commas. The power of a short sentence lies in its ability to grab the reader's attention and set the stage for what follows. By offering a brief, impactful statement, you can pique the reader's interest and encourage them to continue reading. Consider this example:

Some modern critics have panned the work as gaudy and uninspired. Art critic Gerhard Krimpintz described the portrait as "an overdone mess of colors and shapes, lacking any real substance or depth," while art historian Flement Vespertine called it "a failed attempt at capturing the essence of the subject, resulting in a lifeless and uninspired depiction."

YES! YES!!!!! This is the kind of effect I'm talking about. A short, punchy sentence at the beginning sets the tone and draws the reader in, creating a sense of anticipation for the detailed information that follows. It can allow you to build upon an initial statement with more detailed and nuanced sentences, providing a richer and more engaging reading experience. The true key is to balance short sentences with longer ones, creating a rhythm that keeps the reader's interest and makes the text more enjoyable to read.

Apologies

I want to apologize to Lucy Ellmann, whose 2019 novel Ducks, Newburyport is referred to as "an otherwise monotonous piece of text filled with endless clauses and commas" in this essay. This book is actually very entertaining and well-written, and stands out as an innovative piece of writing in a world where hordes of teenagers read the waste of paper that could have been used for a roll of Charmin four-ply that is Colleen Hoover's bibliography.

I also want to apologize to Colleen Hoover for calling her bibliography a "waste of paper that could have been used for a roll of Charmin four-ply" in my earlier statement. I'm sure it has some redeeming qualities.

Additionally, I want to apologize for being a hypocrite. Many short sentences appear in this essay, and my usage of them should probably qualify me for some form of torture.