Wikipedia:No one will listen to reason when their back is up
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Feeling attacked damages one's logic and rhetorical skills.
If you feel your back is up, you might try this:
Take a deep breath, count to ten, drop your shoulders and imagine a calm, soothing place.
When ready, open your eyes, examine the computer screen for evidence and reason and reply using your best Mr. Spock impression; i.e.: let your emotions be hidden from the reader.
If you need to reason with a person whose back is up, you might try this:
Help them to a mental state conducive to reason.
Try using your best Bob Ross impression; i.e.: calm, sincere helpfulness.
Face-saving measures may get their front up.