Talk:The Art of Losing (American Hi-Fi album)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 12:52, 7 March 2021 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I will review this later on for the GAN backlog drive! --K. Peake 12:52, 7 March 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

• Are you sure there isn't inappropriate spacing before the parameters per Template:Infobox album?

This was done by a WP:GOCE user in this edit. I didn't change it back since it didn't break the infobox. Yeepsi (talk) 18:09, 7 March 2021 (UTC)

• The recording date is not sourced; it is only stated in the body they started in March and aimed for completion in April

Changed to 2002 as I couldn't find an end/final recording month. Yeepsi (talk) 18:09, 7 March 2021 (UTC)

Yeepsi Just remove the recording date then, as it is not sourced that recording finished that year (remember, the album came out in 2003). --K. Peake 18:53, 7 March 2021 (UTC)

Removed. Yeepsi (talk) 18:58, 7 March 2021 (UTC)

• Target Pop punk to Pop-punk
• "their eponymous debut album (2001)," → "their eponymous debut studio album (2001),"
• "also in Hollywood." → "in Hollywood of the state." because Burbank is not in the same location as Hollywood
• "The album has been described" → "It has been described"
• Target pop punk to Pop-punk
• "power pop and" → "power pop, and"
• "and drew comparisons" → "while received comparisons"
• Critical should be mentioned before commercial reception; change to saying "while reaching number 80..." at the end of the sentence
• "The album's title track was released to radio" → "Its title track was released to radio as the lead single" with the wikilink
• Mention that it was the US Alternative Airplay chart
• Wikilink music videos

Background and production

• "in February 2001[1] and promoted it" → "in February 2001, and promoted the album" plus [1] should be at the end of the sentence instead before [3] since it backs up the release date and the song being the lead single
• Regarding the recording of the album, the source itself mentions them aiming to complete by April like you have wrote here; however, can you find anywhere the date recording was actually finished so dates can be added?

I couldn't find an end/final recording month in any of the sources. Yeepsi (talk) 18:09, 7 March 2021 (UTC)

• "and from Errin Familia at" → "and it was also provided by Errin Familia at" to avoid confusion
• Wikilink Portland, Maine
• "The album cost around $200,000 to make; when the band's label" → "It cost around $200,000 to make; when American Hi-Fi's record label" with the wikilink

Composition

• Retitle to Music and lyrics
• "to its final title." → "to the final title." but are you sure this doesn't belong in background or release?
• Target pop punk to Pop-punk
• "power pop and rock, and has been compared" → "power pop, and rock, while it was compared"
• "The opening title-track evokes" → "The opening title track evokes" with the target
• "being told what to do." → "being told what to do by others." to be specific
• "of the band's song" → "of American Hi-Fi's song"
• "trying to retrieve his" → "placing more focus on retrieving his"
• "recall the works of" → "recalls the works of"
• "and cribs the work of" → "as well as cribbing the work of"
• [15][13] should be put in numerical order
• "recall the music of" → "recalls the music of"
• Are you sure "channels" is the correct term for this section or should you paraphrase, as I'm not too sure if it's encyclopedic?
• Target sampled to Sampling (music)

Release

• Retitle to Release and promotion
• Wikilink music video
• "over three days and" → "over a period of three days and"
• "The video shows the band" → "It shows American Hi-Fi"
• "some fans approaching" → "some fans previously approaching"
• Mention that it was released to US radio stations
• "as the album's lead single" → "as the lead single from The Art of Losing" with the wikilink
• Target digital downloads to Music download
• Target CD to Compact disc
• "and addition to" → "in addition to"
• "titled "Self Control" that" → "entitled "Self Control" that"
• "both from the group's debut album" → "both from American Hi-Fi"
• "bonus tracks while" → "bonus tracks, while" with the wikilink per MOS:LINK2SECT
• "It was promoted with" → "The former was promoted with"
• "club tour throughout February," → "club tour throughout February 2009,"
• Mention that the performance was the following month
• "In April and May that year, the group" → "In April and May of that year, American Hi-Fi"
• "east coast tour[24] but the tour" → "east coast tour,[24] but the tour"
• "due to family issues." → "due to the lead act's family issues."
• Mention that the music videos were released in October 2009

Reception

• IGN should not be italicised

Ah, I was thrown off by the IGN article having its title in italics. Yeepsi (talk) 18:09, 7 March 2021 (UTC)

• Italicise Melodic, Rock Hard, Rolling Stone, and Spin
• "E! Online opened" → "The staff of E! Online opened"
• "the listener was in" → "the listener enters"
• "metal-friendly ... that" → "metal-friendly [...] that"
• Wikilink Bay City Rollers
• IGN should not be italicised
• "said lyricism was "not [the band's]" → "said lyricism is "not [American Hi-Fi's]"
• "Rock Hard said" → "The staff of Rock Hard said"
• ""evoke[d] little emotions in me. They" → ""evoke[s] little emotions", writing: "They"
• "be annoying ..." → "be annoying [...]"
• "wrote the band" → "wrote American Hi-Fi"
• "though with Jones" → "though the inclusion of Jones"
• Wikilink alternative rock
• "and that the group had lost" → "and noted American Hi-Fi as having lost"
• "personal style," sounding" → "personal style", sounding"
• "the US Billboard 200.[32] The title track reached number 33 on the" → "the US Billboard 200,[32] while the title track reached number 33 on the US"
• Invoke the Billboard 200 from the chart table by using a refname in place of [32]
• ""best-of pop punk album" list." → ""best-of pop punk albums" lists."

Track listing

• See MOS:TABLECAPTION

Personnel

• Target Lars Fox to Grotus

Charts

• Good

References

• Copyvio score looks pretty good at 24.8%!
• Top job with the archiving of all these where possible!
• Wikilink Island Records on ref 5
• Cite IGN as publisher instead for ref 8
• Remove or replace ref 10 per WP:RSSM
• Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 14
• Cite FMQB as work/website instead for ref 17
• Wikilink The Island Def Jam Music Group on ref 19
• Ref 32 is a duplicate of ref 35; see my earlier comment for instructions on how to fix this
• Target Schirmer Trade Books to Wise Music Group on that source

Final comments and verdict

•  On hold until all of the issues are fixed, but do not feel afraid to reach out if you have any queries! --K. Peake 17:30, 7 March 2021 (UTC)

Whoops, sorry, I've done all the changes. Yeepsi (talk) 21:51, 7 March 2021 (UTC)

Yeepsi ✓ Pass now, there were a few further issues that had arisen after my comments being made but I copyedited the fixes in! --K. Peake 06:38, 8 March 2021 (UTC)