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Latest comment: 3 years ago2 comments2 people in discussion
Hi ! Your article looks great. I'm assuming you're writing one from scratch since I couldn't find it on Wikipedia.. There are a few things I would suggest: I would add more citations(like one after every sentence) and maybe shorten some of your direct quotes. Over-all I felt like your tone was very neutral and everything was just about the facts. Are you putting these paragraphs under separate headings? I think it would be too long for an introduction alone. And lastly, I think the sentence at the end of the first paragraph through me a little. Maybe shift into the next paragraph with something like " There is little data on other areas of the Caribbean, however Puerto Rico has been well studied" or something along those lines, for no other reason than to take your own voice out of it. Overall though I thought it was a great start and I learned something, so thank you! RomilyC (talk) 13:38, 2 October 2020 (UTC)RomilyCReply
Marife, this is a nice start and generally well referenced. You might see if there are links to pre-existing pages that you could make with some of the broader categories. I'd also second Romily's note about the end of the first paragraph. If that is to be your lede you do want to make people aware that the Puerto Rican evidence will be foregrounded, but you want to make it clear why that choice has been made. If it is the case that nowhere else has been adequately studied say that, but if there is work from other parts of the Caribbean you might nod to them with additional sections, even if that isn't your main focus. More generally, that would be something I'd have you start to think about: what sorts of section breaks might make sense for this piece? MP Bwana Msitu (talk) 17:41, 13 October 2020 (UTC)Reply
