Talk:2024 Radboud University Nijmegen pro-Palestinian campus occupation

Review of draft

Per request by @RayScript

• Use of unreliable sources, notably WP:SOCIALMEDIA that need replacing or content removed
• Peacock terms ie MOS:PUFFERY: the word solidarity would apply here if the sources say support
• MOS:EDITORIAL: check for editorialising which isn't attributed by sources such as "but, despite, however"
• Improve the number and quality of reliable sources per WP:GNG, those with WP:SIGCOV in particular
• Grammar issues, some that I've addressed but would need to go over again once improved
• WP:SUMMARISE: the article doesn't need every detail, only a summary
• General wordiness: repetition of words that are unnecessary.

Overall I don't think this article is too far away from being WP:BETTER and approved, but there is certainly enough work to be done at the same time. Most important is improving WP:RS and WP:NPOV. CommunityNotesContributor (talk) 14:05, 16 May 2024 (UTC)

1. I have replaced all but one unreliable source. The one left is a quote from the letter, which is a primary source. Maybe we need to remove the quote?
2. The two remaining instances of "solidarity" are used in the article
3. Haven't checked for editorializing
4. Source: could probably use some more work but using the Dutch news is a challenge for me.
5. Grammar: went through again and fixed up some stuff
6. Summarize and wordiness could use improvement but also not my strong suite

@CommunityNotesContributor thanks for providing the detailed review! I've made improvements where I can here. I'll try to take a look again tomorrow if things aren't fixed but the remaining issues aren't in my strong suit. RayScript (talk) 17:43, 16 May 2024 (UTC)

@RayScript if most of the major issues are resolved like sourcing and NPOV, I do not see an issue with moving it to mainspace where it has a better chance of being improved, perhaps by someone who knows Dutch. Drafts, like articles, do not need to be perfect. S0091 (talk) 18:35, 16 May 2024 (UTC)

Agreed. I'm just having a further check through sources to verify content. The Vox articles are all in English for example, and others are easy to translate with google. But yes not opposed to a move now it's been cleaned up significantly. Mainly at this point there's just some content that isn't that relevant that needs to be replaced with relevant content based on current sources. CommunityNotesContributor (talk) 18:44, 16 May 2024 (UTC)

I just went over it and did some cleaning up regarding the sources, but they look good to me otherwise (I mainly checked the Dutch sources). Content-wise there could probably be added some information, at least for today and probably the response section. I'll update it if I come across anything like that. AnarchistiCookie (talk) 21:28, 16 May 2024 (UTC)

@AnarchistiCookie, @CommunityNotesContributor, @RayScript thanks for the teamwork on this. @Scriptese thanks for creating it. Even though you cannot contribute to it directly, as I stated on your talk page you are welcome to make edit requests. S0091 (talk) 20:00, 19 May 2024 (UTC)

Omar Barghouti at Radboud

There isn't anything in the media about Barghouti speaking on 13 May, but Fréderike Geerdink has posted about it on X (see here) and he was planned to speak (again?) today according to Dutch Scholars for Palestine (see here in Dutch & English). It seems plausible but I recommend removing the information if it can't be supported by a trusted publication. AnarchistiCookie (talk) 21:46, 16 May 2024 (UTC)

If in doubt, remove. The edit was completely OR by someone completely WP:COI "I organise the lectures and speaker that day so know the facts well" [1] I thought someone might be able to provide a reliable source, but if not, then it should be deleted. CommunityNotesContributor (talk) 21:49, 16 May 2024 (UTC)